The One I Really Trust..

Is only you, my blog friend. Because I know that you don't totally know me but you know my life. I don't trust any friends now, they are all traitors and they kept babling all your secrets, saying that it is only for your own good, but no, it is not.
I'll tell you all about it. Of course, for those who were reading this blog foir the past days, you know about Geoff. The only person I toldabout him were my friends. But kjnow what they did? They betrayed me and they said that it was only for my own good. Is that a friend? They told him about it and it was supposed to be a secret! I really hate them now. I can't trust anyone. All of them betrayed me and now he knew. Of course, being the gentleman, he didn't said anything and act like nothing happened but I knew he knew. I even learned to hate him for a very little minute but now, Geoff and I are still friends. And now, I still like him a lot.
Now, I learned a lot. YOU CANNOT TRUST ANYONE. My mother has also done this to me so that is saying something. So as my so-called friends, they have done betraying me. I hate them. I hope they all go away to hell because they are good-for-nothing. They do not love me and no one loves me, do you know that? The only one I can trust is my blog and that's it. Maybe, someone in the future will come but it would be after a century so I just have to dream on on waiting for a good friend.

Doubting About The Sun

Here I am, doubting every minute the every ounce of my problem. I am really worried, in doubt and everything. I am pondering everey minute about this- my love life.
I am really confused where should I listenb to, to my heart, or my mind.
You know folks that I am into Geoff now. Things for me are getting serious. I think I am really falling for him. Now, my sing is, "Catch Me I'm Falling For You." But then, I always think of the consequences...
Okay, I was thinking, he is my guy friend. Does he really like me? If he does, would he really court me?...Nah..I don't think so. Okay, so HIS feelings is not we are talking about, but mine. Its like I am torn between to or not to go on.
here is a song...

• Catch Me Im FallinHmmm.... I. I don't know why but when i look in your eyes i feel something that seems so right you've got yours i've got mine i think i'm loosing my mind 'cause i shouldn't feel this way Refrain: catch me i'm fallin for you and i don't know what to do Chorus: how can something so wrong? feel so right all along catch me i'm falling for you how can time be so wrong? for love to come along catch me i'm falling for you how can love let it go when it has no place to go and i can't go along pretending that love isn't here to stay catch me i'm falling for you II.If i could just walk away without you floating today i would die just thinking of you i know we can't therefor bee more than friends you and me but why do i feel this way? ***Repeat refrain then chorus*** catch me i'm falling for you and it's wrong for me to feel this way 'cause i don't know what to do without you i'm falling for you... Catch me i'm falling you how can something so wrong? feel so right all along catch me i'm falling for you........

The Not-So Lucky Day

Diagnostic test! I didn't study very much unless you say the subject Mathematics. Yes, out of my seven books, the one I only opened is the math. I am afraid that our Math Proffesor will really include it in exam so that's why..
And because it is diagnostic, we dismissed earlier. I didn't exactly went home after that, I just stayed a little longer with my friends. But then, I talked to my classmate, one of my male classmates whom I had an argument earlier and that time, when I was talking to him, he answered me very sarcastically and we had a fight. What is more, she is my friend's crush and it seems or it does appear that she is taking side on him. I hate it. So I walked out and went home with a very sour mood. Until now!!!What's more, earlier this day, I saw Geoff talking to one of my past-worst enemy- Vendella. I think he has a crush on her. That's why I am becoming irky this day. But no no no no, no matter what, studies comes first and that is final so I am going to be more broken-hearted if I am not going to pass our achievement test in Math!

Strong, despite of everything

Last night, while we were having a chat with my dorm friends, our topic came down to my father. Now, I realize that I miss him very much. I realized manmy things, actually. I realize that I really don't mind my problem that much, that I am very optimistic. My friends also told me that I am too mature than my age and I've got more advanced mind than any half of them. I am proud of it. Yes, I stood still in spite of all the storms that came to my life- to our family. I stood like a bamboo that kept on swaying but then kept on striving, especially when the typhoon came to an end. They were really looking up on me. Well, it is really hard to be strong especially at times when you are alone but what I say is, "Keep on keeping on," as what JoJo's song says, too.
So, girls, boys, readers and friends, don't forget that everything has solutions. Every problem has an answer same as every equation in mathematics has answers.
Also remeber then, that there are many ways to kill a rat and not only one. So don't give up and lose hope everytime you have a problem.
Do you agree with me? I hope so.

Girl Scout Activist

Hoorrrayyy!!We are coming, Florida! No, it is not the Florida in America we are going to but some province in our country that needed tree planting. It is a bit faraway from the city we lived in and that is why I am so excited. And the Girl Scout officer told us that this tree-planting activity might be set in Guiness Book of Records. Am I so excited.
Well, I haven'treally experienced things like that so I am really excited among with the others. I just hope no one will get harmed during the activity.
I LOVE BEING A GIRL SCOUT!!!!!

Reminiscing the Horrible Past Love...

It really started with Archie back when I was a highschool freshman. So young and naive..and everything I despise now.
This is it.. THE STORY OF THE YUCKY-ICKY LOVE

One day, while Happy Poison has some works to do in school, she went to the study booth and buried herself in a book. Just then, a group of 10th year passed, all of them were boys. Happy Poison then saw a very attractive looking boy with a very soulful eyes. She told her friends about it and then, she just knew that she was struck love-at-first-sight. Until that, she was taunted by teasing of their grade and she never stopped stalking the guy named Archie. But the sad part, he never really tried to notice her because she was too young....THE SAD ENDING.

And now that I am not inlove with him anymore, I found it really yucky...EW!!!!

Happy Poison, inlove?

Definitely NOT! I am not going to and that is a promise. Yes, I may have many crushes, but no perks, I won't really try. I dunno why, though. I have many love affairs and I always dream on having a boyfriend but now that I am growing up, I don't like the idea anymore. Dunno why so.

Okay, I may have invented boyfriends just so I won't feel left out but this time, now that I am realizing that I am falling for Geoff and that it is not a crush anymore, I am really scared. I don't wanna go near him, ever! My friends said they like him but I am not..like, I really don't like it. Maybe, I DO REALLY have a split personality. I am afraid of falling for Geoff but I am not afraid when I did it the first(and maybe last) for Archie. *SIGH*

What didn't Come to Me...

Being in a dorm makes me experience(and not experience) lots of things. Like about when it comes to my food. It was only a short time when I experienced a Mother cooking my own food. Now, it was always me who have to cook my own food. I miss my mother. I miss my father. I miss my sisters. I miss my life years ago when we are still rich and can have everything. I miss it but I can do nothing with it. But you know what, I promised myself to be rich again and I will of course bring my family with me even if I am a bit hating my Mum and Dad because of their other flings. That's how big I love them that I will do anything for them even if it means hurting me. But no, of course, I won't tell them anything about it or they may get a big head. HUH!

Unlucky Day

Maybe that attempted kiss has something to do with it!!! Yeah, I am very unlucky today. I have done horribly in school. In our lessons. Yes, I may have answered all the questions, I may understand all the lessons but no, I still didn't get what I have expected because I am very unlucky.. Maybe because Geoff is my jinx-guy...
Okay, I'll elaborate to you what had happened. Firstly, in our english, one of my favorite subject. There is an oral recitation and I perfectly know the answer very well, but you know what happened, guys? Prof. Umber didn't found it that good, so she contradicted in what I said (when I knew that she would love my answer so much). Secondly, in our Trigonometry. I did horribly in our seatwork and to think that it is 25%. And to think that I am one of the most wizards there in mathematics. And all I blame for that is that attemted whatever. But you know what, I am a little afraid because I think Prof. Lan is very dissappointed. Then, the time he discussed a lesson, I have recited very wrong answers because I didn't concentrate. But after this confessions in the blog, I promise I would feel renewed again and that I would make myself feel that I am lucky again..Hahaha...I hope this will work. Confessing everything to my blog might work. Bye peps!

Angst Of A Teenager

I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.Whoa! Before you think of anything, I am meaning that I woke up in a very bad mood. I don't know why but as long as I can remember early in the morning, I became impatient and I want everything to go on according on what I say.
Until, when I came to school, Geoff was already there and it was the two of us in the classroom. Well, it is nothing cause that happens almost everyday. But thing is, when the time he went to me and asked me for his assignment. Oh, well, nothing really happened about it but after he asked, I don't know if he really meant it but he wanted to kiss my hand. Of course, reflex reaction, I grab it instantly before he can kiss it. Well, you can say it is no big deal but in our culture, it is not appropraite. After the incident, I became you know, uneasy and he too, but that is on his part for only a moment. Now,I went and passed our lessons all bothered about that incident. Yeah, sounds like nothing. I know he is just joking but my question is, do he have to do that even if we are all alone? And does he really need to do it? I think not!!Yeah, NOT!
Now, I am uneasy but I tried not to make it noticeable. I haven' told no one about it because I felt very uncomfortable. I tried to tell my friends but no, I really can't. So, I kept it all by myself. Hahaha. That's why I called it Angst of mine....

Bright Yellow Sunshine

I don't know why I entitled it like that. Thig I want you all readers to know is that, I really meant it about being an opstimistic person in viewing life. Yeah, something like that...
Okay, here it is. I just remembered while I was surfing that I am proud to let you people know that I am an optimistic person. Not everyone is optimistic and pleasant, so that is saying something. And i am very proud of being one of the few optimistic person in the world. You knw what, I dont know why I think that I can do everything though it is out of my skills. My friends will think(and also me myself) that I can't do it but then, later on as I try, I'll became surprised and just exclaim, "Hey, I did it!" Just like that. Like just in one zap of the hand, everything is managed!!!
Maybe, I was born lucky..or maybe not. Do you call it lucky when you have a fatherin prison, parents breaking up, and a bankrupt business? Of course, that is not lucky. But I don't know why I think that I was born lucky. Maybe I thought it was in other ways. Like what? Hmn.. Modesty aside, like I am intelligent and a bit good looking? And has a very matured mind and so advanced and because of my experience in life? Yeah, maybe. But I am still thankful as ever, no matter what. Smile.

All Grown-Up?

Am I really? Maybe. That's what they said. Professor Umber, my friends and clique. Because, as what they said, my mind is more advanced than the rest of my classmates. I don't think soi, thats my opinion. But really, maybe....
You know folks, readers, I am wondering why I am close to teachers. They confide in me and everything but that's just it. We never became that personal.
Other good news for me this school year is that our counselor, who I think was my worst enemy, was now all WAS. Because she was starting to get FC to me. Meaning, feeling close. Yeah, she started acting like that to me. And the very overwhelming thing for me that I felt like a good news for the school year, is that I am the understudy for the Environment Quiz. It was seem like a very good news.. Being an understudy is hard, even if I am beaten by a Junior High. And I am very happy about it. REALLY happy. Currently, I am studying for oiur future lessons so hang on, and I have to say goodbye for a moment.

My Tickle Moment

Being a teenager, of course, I have many crushes. One of this is my long time crush Geoff. I like him because he is responsible, intelligent and neat. He is not that good-looking though but still fine with me. I kept it a secret because I am afraid they'll know, especially him since we are very close and we are friends. Know the funny thing? I am his adviser on what to do in courting his crushes. But he always hinted to me that he has plans to -you know,- court me. He is always saying that but in a teasing way. His exact words were, "We have been friends for too long and I already noticed your beauty and everythinh and it was my long-time plan to court you." And he said that again this time, in front of many people and I think, this time, he really meant it. Well, for a girl who has not given a good love life, it is saying something so no wonder I reacted like this. Hmn.. But of course, I have learned enough form my past experiences not to expect too much or I'll die again..I mean,my heart..hehe.

What Now?

I have this problem. Well, it is so small that I can think you will only laugh at it. It is the usual teeners problem. I had this friend of mine, Lein. She was smart, the problem is, she is not that good-looking. Then, she has a long-time crush named Morty. He is really cute and thing is, he is our classmate in Mathematics. Now, I thought he was just a friend to me after many years. But then, one day, I just woke up feeling something for him. I am not sure if he likes me or not. He is some sort of a hottie and we are just friends, but we are really close although he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend was the typical girlfriend of a hottie- also a hottie. But then, he always mentions to me that if he and his girlfriend Anne would break-up, I am his next choice. But he says it in a kidding tone.But I also think that he really means it? Whatever. The real problem now is, can i keep crushing on him and liking him when I know that my friend likes him too?

Second Not Relax

Hey!! Right now, I am very tired but i still want to talk to you all dear readers!! It is only the second day of school and I am not an officer or anything but I am VEEEEERRRYYY busy. Yes, like I was on 9th grade. Oh, anyway, I am an officer but that's not saying much since I was just an ASSISTANT. But you know what, I am always wondering why in the world I am always very busy whenever there is a program and our level is the sponsor. I am not given any responsibilities this time by our teacher, honestly speaking. But I am still very busy, more busy than the rest of our class, I think. Now, I am very tired but of course, how can I forget my blog? My online journal? Hulla! Anyway, this day, the boys in our class are now mixed with girls and I don't like it because the boys behind me are so noisy. Yes, although we are very close and friends, I still don't like it when someone is pestering me..I hate it. Like I does everytime to talk to you- saying goodbye so I won't. I'll just say: See ya next time!!

Family Matters

I am problematic about my family. I thought that separated parents was alright, you know, okay like it wasn't there, that you can still live happily, but no. It is definitely not. Like me. Now that I am in the same very infern situation, I cannot take it. It is hard seeing your mother having another man and your father having another woman. Now I asked myself: why can't they live together EVEN just for us- their children? Readers, please answer my question. You know, I now hate mothers and fathers, parents in general, who only thinks of themselves. They seem did not think about their children. They do not seem to love them, like my parents does to us. Yes, they showered us material things, money but come to think of it, especially you, parents, is that enough? Do you think that your child REALLY wants that more than their parents being together? I think my parents doesn't love us anymore because they didn't think of us. I think all that so-called love they say to us is JUST SO-CALLED and it ends up just there. Only there. That is why I am trying to hate them now and also, I learn from them. Leave someone close to you first before they left you. Because it is more hurting if they are the ones who'll leave you. Anyway, all this things I didn't say to my sisters because I am afraid they won't take it. It is okay if I am the one who'll get hurt, not them. You know what, they may be the only person I just wanted to love and that I truly love in this whole wide world...No matter what, I'll protect them and love them and I won't imitate my parents who were all PLASTICS...!!

First Day Firsts

First day of school! Wow! Am I really happy. It was like going back to where I came from. You know what I mean? Teasings, being with friends- everything! I love it. I saw my old friends and we had two transferees. Well, the classes- lectures, I mean- didn't start but our adviser came and only one wasn't present today. I am really happy to be with my friends again. The sad part? I have to tire myself because of studying..Yeah, really. It is back to the beginning again!

GRRRRRR....

I am a little bit annoyed and a little bit angry and a little bit raged and a little bit groogy(is it the word?). Well, everyone, I want to inform you that no matter what is the word, the right feeling I has now is a bit-what?-unexplained.
Okay, I may sound weird(like my name) but yes, I can't explain my feeling right now. Well, I'll tell you the details. Once, I am in a dormitory with two friends and I am the so-called center of their eyes seeing that I am the youngest. But now, the moment that my cousin Greta arrived, I was thrashed in one side. Fine, thing is, you can say that my friend's desicion by thrashing me was right. As I am the agressive one, the meanie and the confident whilst Greta was the shy and meek and demure one, who will you choose anyway? Of course, Greta, right?!I can accept that if that was true but the thing is, it is NOT! I may look a meanie but honestly, deep inside, Greta is more meanie than me, if only they knew it. If only they knew that she was a great actress trying hard to be the SHY-OH-SHY girl just to catch their attention and to feel sympathy on her over me. Huh! As if! Whatever. That's why I am very angry and as if it wasn't enough, now my two friends are keeping on comparing us and it was always her who was on the top. Anyway, I know the truth but the most hurting part is, I know the truth but I can't say it to anyone because in fear that they might not believe me. Who would be? C'mon! And the worst part? I think it is the fact that she will push me out of my friends' circle and also try to get my other friends away form me....Huhuhu.

Hello, School!!

Classes again!! This year, I am in 10th grade and since I came from a very long vacation, I am now very excited to go to school. Of course, you know very well that it is not JUST for studying and learning but ALSO for meeting old and new friends alike, meeting hotties and cuties and building a firm foundation for your life. This day, all I did was shopping for my things in school and the best part is I am totally independent of buying things I want since I am now an all-grown-up. I have money left and I think it is enough to say that I spent it well. Now, this very moment, I am infront of a pc and doing stuffs but deep within my mind, I am waiting for the official beginning of my school days moment. My, was so excited I am!!

HELLLOOO!!

Welcome me to the world of online journal!! Everyone, I am Happy Poison. Happy Poison, meet everyone! now, this is my very first post and i just want to introduce myself to everyone and talk about stuffs. i am just a simple girl and i study currently at the Academy of Corchafa. But my story begins in this way...
Happy Poison grew in a middle classed family having a very loving parents who were both disciplinarian, two sisters and a dog named Mami. But one day, she woke up all her stuffs and realities crashing before her eyes. The family business they had has fallen down and was out of money, her father was jailed because of the said-so murder and they were all left with many debts that went and sprout everywhere. Happy thought it was just a nightmare that will vanish after someone wakes her up but no. and to think that she was the eldest and that time, she was still young. Young to carry burdens. Young to experience hardships. But well, thats life.
At a young age, she faced hardships and troubles. She has many problems but as she was the eldest, she can't dare talk to her sisters about it; neither to her parents who, for her mom, was very busy at work and for her Dad, who was in jail and has also his own troubles. She was like living in an also caged world because she can't talk to no one, or so she believed. Now, Happy Poison grew up too matured for her age and was dreaming of like impossible but she still kept dreaming on and dreaming on even if she knew that it was impossible. Her greatest dream was to become a writer. Her father said "Go for it" but her mother's reaction was only a scowl. But then, she was keeping on keeping on.
That is the story of my past..my life that can affect my future.
And you are now able to know what happened to every minute of my life by visiting this site regularly because i will give you an up-to-date of what is happening to me. STAY TUNED!