SUPER irritated

I am so so so irritated. Because once again, the enemy has striked, and I also wanted to strike back because I am already full of those humbugs trying to ruin my mood.

Just this noon, my cousin Greta striked back. She, once again, could not resist herself on moving my dresses. She wore my dress! And without my permission. If I am allowed to kill just only one person, it would be her.

Would you like someone to abuse you? Abuse your patience, for having patience to control yourself to stab her back because she is always taking your things without her permission..? I cannot tolerate that!

I really really hate her now. She was the one seen as the angel and I am the devil but who is the more devil than the two of us?

So, she better take good care how to use my things without my knowing next time because she might find herself in the mirror a face without a hair! Not a single thread!

Welcome Home!

This pastfewdays, I am desperate to go back to our house, a home to me which others may not consider a home. I don't know why I am feeling like this way, like I really wanted to go home that desperately where I am alrteady immuned in not being at home. Besides, I never consider any place a home except the internet until now.

So, well, I went home this weekend. And by Sunday, I have to go back but I have this feeling that I do not want to go back, get that? I mean, I really don't know but suddenly I became tired in city life and life as a student. Like, as if I needed a very wide range of recuperation. I dunno...

Well, at least, I am in the city again now in our dorm and I have to face this challenges again. Hmn.. Well, as if I havea choice. Anyway, I was also a bit fimsy this week about our cards waiting to be claimed this Thursday and come to thinkof it, whenever I am beginning to even imagine what it will look like again, I become queesy. Because deep inside me,I know I am in dep waters.Its as if..I haven't done well this past few weeksand that I might get thrown out in my throne for Top 5. Yes, I am in top three lastgrading period but its okay for me if I occupy the Top five but please oh please, not the top six.

But I am having doubts about myself now. Its as if all those confidence in me have gone with the wind.I am doubting myself and I do not know why. As for now, my concern is that I am not doing well but I am going to recuperate, I hope and please pray for me too. Well, anyway, thank you for reading this, if you are.

WHEW!

I have not visted my blog for a long long time. Maybe I am exagerrating, but the truth is that, I visited this blog just a few days ago, but its like my heart's not in it. But now, my heart is REALLY into it. Because I have too many in my mind to say but have no guts to tell it to others..Or rather, no one will take it seriously.

Okay. First, let me tell you what we did for the day. It is such a very very exhausting day. Super. Because we have some physical activities in our P.E called the Amazing Race but its no amazing there. It is not for me, anyway. Because it is so tiring, so disgusting and so useless. You cannot even use a mental stuff. Gosh! Better do some mental stuff like solving mathematics problems and so on...

Speaking of Mathematics, well..uhmn..I have a conffession to make. I think this is the most revolting for me, but not for you. I've got a crush on those math geek of ours, Joseph! No no no no no. Precisely a no because he has this one time where he beat me in Mathematics but well, I only realized it for now..and..oh, whatever. Well, I just realized it when one day, I befriended him to calm the always-there tension between us. But NADA..IT ONLY MADE ME HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. And thats it. Gosh..how could I? Like, I haven't experienced the bitterness of love..Uh-oh.But still, this time, I am beginning to crave for his attention even if I have no rights. And there is also one girl in our school who is obssesed on him. Gosh.. But you know what? I believe he has a crush on me too. Because uhmn..well, its hard to explain but thats what I stand up for./..

Whew! I think I am falling gaain on somebody. And its okay with me, no regrets or remorse or doubts here..Just wanna go on with the flow. But there is one thing I put in my mind : I would only tell that the guy is "him" if ever he will be able to enable me to have an attraction to other guy. You know, obssession.

And I don' t think I have met him already but I am waiting..Just hope its later...

Luv Yah!

My aunt went to our house in province. No..not the Aunt that I blacklisted but my aunt who has got a husband now and was doing well in life. Well, shewent to our house in province so I went to tag along them. I am so excited to see our house again, which I left by 6th of January then. Of course, thereason I leftwas for school reasons. I justhave to live in a dormitory.

I was so excited. We just have to plan and celebrate my sisters birthdays but of course that is until next week. I want to please them. I wanted so much to make them happy, so thats it. Justthen, I recognized how much I love them. So much.

So Tired of Waiting

Waiting. For me, that is the hardest part in living. I don't like waiting. In fact, I hate waiting on something. Like in an exam, I do not like waiting for the teachers to come. I want to take an exam if I am already finished studying. But thats not how life seems to be.

Just by the nearing end of this week, I was trying to prepare a small gathering for my younger sisters' birthday. Naturally, I have to go home this weekend so that I we can celebrate. I have to ask a penny to my father because maman didn't gave me any. You know, crisis and the money she sent went short. But I understand it. Now, my father promised to send a penny or two to me, and I waited. And I have been waiting this whole day to, yesterday and the other day. Well, my patience really stuck me out and I think I really do not have any of it and I almost have an attack because that disgusting elfin friend of my Aunt lied to me that she didn't saw my Aunt's cellular but it turns out that she only hid it! So disgusting.

I really wanted to wring her neck but as promised, I behaved like an angel. So I just waited for my father's text patiently.

And then it came. So, I rushed to the mall, hoping to bag some groceries to find out that the department store is full! Gosh. If only you can see it. I am the 13th liner in one counter, imagine that! So i have to wait for maybe an hour or so after I have been able to go out to the mall.

See, I have no patiens, or do I have a little? I dunno..

Talent Show

What the heck are they thinking about? A talent show? They must be joking! I mean,I am not God's personal joke.

It is not so big deal anyway, if only it doesn't affect our grade and we just don't have to perform it in front of everybody in class. Well, not that..oh, whatever. I think I am out of reason now.

The point is, I believe that I do ot have any talent to boot. I mean, I sing, but I am only a shower singer. I dance, but not that hiphop and I do not dance that well, and I am just a secret, aspiring, future choreographer. Huhuhu. Besides, I do not also have that enough guts to present an oration r declamation in front of everybody because lately this days, I am begining to lack self-confidence.

Okay, okay okay. Not that I do not have any talent. Point is, yes, I have this talent but it isn't showy. I have a talent in the field of writing, I believe that. But how can I show that.

Besides, I am not that good enough to boot it. And I wanted to perform something unusual. Oh, whatever. Just say good luck to me. Huhuh.

Set, Go!

Do you believe in horoscopes? Dream meanings? Do we really HAVE to believe it? Well, just asking, because there have been many things happening to me because of tha stuff.

Well, just this Tuesday this week, I think, or ahuh! its Thursday, anyway. I have my horoscope read by my friend. Here it goes: "A new love will bloom. Watch out for you career because thi time, you will get what you wanted, if only you work hard." That is it. Well, I think it is right but jnt in the sense that a new love will bloom in me.

Thing is, Geoff's horoscope was read. It is really nothing for me, I promise, I do not have any feelings for him anymore, but they sill kept teasing me on him. This is his scope. "You will regret the time you waste you time for the person you love because you know that he/she was not telling you anything and you better ask him/ her yourself. Do it right now." Well, thats just it, but..they kept teasing me about it. As if I really care. Whatever I can just do nothing but roll my eyes.

I am currently preparing for my examination for tomorow so I better go because I haven't studied too good yet. Bye bye.

While I'm Away for The Christmas Season

I stayed on my mother's parents house where I practically live, I mean, my sisters and I. My first day of vacation had gone so well, thank you! I didn't have much that fight with my sisters and everything were still. Congratulate me because I have been able to control my temper that time and there isn't minor eruption happened at that time.

Second day...well, SOMEONE arrived that soured my mood. You know, the blacklisted Greta. Just because of her mere prescence! Hah! What is more to it, she woremy clothes without my permission! Grrr... Hate her for that. I really hate her. She i so ODIOUS for me now.

And then the worst day. Yet for me. Such a damnation, although I don't really wanna curse. But I did it again. I hate everyone! Shit on them. They were too dunce to understand me to get what I'm feeling and they were too thick to get the depths of what I am feeling. Hmn...I don't know, maybe I am just really crazy. Haha! I accept that. Well, for all I care. I know myself that much and I accept it because I know it is the strongest thing I will be having in my present and in my future. The thing is, they do no try to accept 'me' and they were being obnoxious towards me.

It only made me far from them. Its because no one really tried to understand me, and that time, I don't even understand them either. I know the problem is with me, but I cannot accept it totally because I am not only responsible for my actions myself, because I am dong everything for a cause, and a reasonable cause.

So, that time, I told myself-or my cousin Greta, rather- that one more attempt to touch my things by her and I will pluck all her hair- I do not care! As if like it even from the start.

After Christmas, we were supposed to go to my father's hometown. Well, my sisters and I went there all alone and I am so proud because we arrived there safely and to think that the last time I set foot there was 7 years ago!

Okay, so we went there and saw some of my cousins and I love them! But I didn't really, you know, let out of my wild side there.. Oh, whatever.

Thats it. But at Christmas, at least, I have apologised to my grandpapa, or I just thought so but I know that he had already forgiven me so theres no burden in me now. Babye.

Happy New Year

Uh-oh. I think I am stuck again with those keyboards so so hard to press. Well, beggars don't ave a choice. As a part of the new "me", I promised-shall we say, did the best- that I will not go on an internet shop as possible as I can because it is such an expensive luxury. But then, my mother called an told me to online ASAP.

Anyway, happy new year! Such a great season. And I have many things to tell you but let me say hat until next post, okay? Keep in touch. Once again,

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!