Essence Of Christmas

Do we really have to have a party just to feel the essence of Christmas? Do we really have to give extravagant gifts to someone just to feel the Birth of Jesus? Do we really have to?

I have been thinking about it over and over at the time. Because I have attended too many meetings discussing about Christmas parties and stuffs like what gifts to give and everything. And it didn't pass my taste. For me, at least.

So thats it. I believe that we don't have really to fuss much about how to prepare those parties, especially those gifts. I believe we do not have to think of how much we will get but of how much we will give. No no...Also not true either. I mean, we should not count what we gove but we should not count what we shall receive either. Uhmn..did you get me? I just mean that we don't have to give something rich for the rich and poor gifts for the poor, that is disgusting. Why not vice versa for everything, huh?

And thinking about parties isn't so good, either. Because the time 0ur Baby Jesus was born, did he got a grandious party?Nope. So I think it will not really do.

We party too much, especially on this month, where there are parties called "Christmas Party" but do we really dedicated it to someone worth to dedicate, which is Jesus? No. We only think of the food and the gifts and the grandiousness of it, the sounds and everything. But we barely take a glimpse of the real celebrant. How odius we are!!

Although I didn't say all but I am generalizing it. It is bad. If you are not one of these people, then it is so good to hear but if you are, please change. I am not a saint myself but I am trying to change it and my attitude towards it is improving now that I do not really care whether someone will give me a very poorly gift in exchange for my expensive ones. I don't really care that much anymore, because I am trying to understand, and I am remembering the baby child born in a barn with nothing on himself but himself...

Touching?

Girls Scouts Provincial happenbed this week and I didn't jion in, so naturally, I was stuck in our school and was bored with everyday work and having an exam. I didn't mind that much, for all I care. Only some of my friends went there too and I was left a bit alone and one of my so-called friend went there too and I didn't expect what she will do the moment she came back.

So, by Friday, they were back already. One of my friend Biggie gave me some sort of a key chain souvenier and I didn't thought that she would bring me something, but she remembered. I was utterly grateful by the gesture.

But then, this friend of mine who broke my heart, she is just one anyway. I didn't thought that she remembered me or something or whatever. So, they went back and I still didn't talked to them although everything is fine with me..its just that..it is not time yet. So that is it. She was talking to others and I was just sitting when one of our friend just called me very loudly and said that "she" has something to give me. Of course, I tried to ignore it because I believe that this vulgar friend of ours is just teasing me..trying to make us mend everything. I am good in ignoring remarks now, you know. Or ignore people, also. Maybe I am good at it sionce only I didn't use the knowledge but now I am not using it so it was just as perfect for me and more suitable for me.

Well, that friend isn't joking. She was serious about it, and I am not unpleased, but not pleased too. So, they urged my cold-warred friend to give it to me and after some hesitations and urgings, she went to me and gave me that keychain. Of course, I was ever grateful someone remembered me, but definitely I am not grateful that it came from her.

You get me wrong. Well, maybe I am not phrasing it right, too. I mean, I am grateful that she remembered me, it is just that it is a little awkward. To be honest, it took me time to say thank you and honestly, I also took time to think when she gave it to me wheteher I should accpet it, but I did and I said thank you.

So girls and boys alike(though I know boys have other way for it), I say you should not let pride REALLY overcome you. It is a good thing you have amor de propio but it is not a good thing to have big pride at all. So when someone asks for forgiveness, give it to them. When someone gives you something, never decline because a royalty never declines to what his sucjects gives him. Hehe..Just read it somewhere...

I Am In!!!

I can't believe it!! I am in!!!

Well, I have this college entarnce examination and I have been waiting for almost eternity to know if I have been able to be "in" in this prestigious school, and gosh..! How happy I am to know that I scored high in that said test.

I scored 110, and the others or the common scorers were 60 plus and I am very well glad about the result.

Oh, I am so happy but I would be more happy if I'll be able to know if I got a scholarship. I am having my hopes high because my points is higher than anyone and I just oh so hope so.

Its really good to know that I have some place to go into after high school. Haha.

Thing is, I need to have an acrobat reader or whatever that is to know who got scholarship, so I think I have to install it first.

Ba-bye then.

Don't Wanna

I am so annoyed I got a computer with very hard keyboards, but I think I have to just..let it pass although I swear I could get callusezs with this. It is harder than a typewriter, for Christ's sake! But hey..anyway, I am going to inform you about some updates in my life.

So, first, I have already surpased my exam this day. Ou 6th monthly exam, to be exact. And I felt so relieved and so happy about it, can barely breath. Hahaha.Just joking.

Okay. Second, I am currently amazed about books about princesses and anchantments that I am so engrossed with it and I bought another book about it, the one titled "The Princess" by Jude Deveraux and it is the most likely book that helped me read about princess' life. So, that's it. Enough of my foolishness for a while.

Third. I don't know what inspiration keeps me but I am now in the mood to write about bits of something into my story which is laid up too long, the 'Meet Maxine'. I just put bits and bits together and have to..presto! Arrange it accordingly.

Oh, too much of this keyboard. Hate it. Better coninue some other time,babye.

Top 3

Increase by one step.. Or, shall we say, one step forward?

Second grading has come..and it has a bit..or shall we say, it has lots of changes. Some went down and some went up..I was so grateful that I did improved my grades, and I am so happy about it and also proud in myself because I have proven something again.

Others looked up to me, and I know others were jealous although I can't pinpoint who. But I don't care. As long as I am doing good and not bad things. I won't say I haven't hurt nobody about it, because I have but its not my fault, right? I won my position, fair and square.

I hope everything will be fine for me and that I will be able to improve my grade because I want to prove somehting to myself and to toehrs and so as to my parents and my family and other people. That I can make it. I want my parents to be proud of me.

Not Wanted

All I wanted right now is to forget what we talked about with my teacher. She asked me about why I cried when I have to say something about honesty and I told her.. But not everything. I don't trust anyone completely now. But that is not the blow, anyway.

I just want to forget about all those friendship echuvanes whatever. Hahaha. But, it kept popping into my mind so I decided that I have to put ALL of my feelings here as only my blog I can trust in my whole life and by my whole life.

You know perfectly well that I don't belong anywhere. Oh, I belong in the internet as this is the only place that I blended well, my home, my abode. Because in my family, I can't say there is a home as well. But hey! It doesn't mean that I have to carry this grief and sorrow forever because I do not want my children to suffer like me. I will create my own home and my roots when I grow up. But at least, not today.

I hope this sadness in me will soon be over and I want to forget about it, like what I have done this past few weeks. If I have done it before, why not now, right? Haha..

Just wish me luck to my oncoming exam tomorrow. Hehe. I believe I haven't studied that much, but I hope everything will be fine, especially our english because I flunked at the recitations just this friday and I felt bad about it so I hope my exams would be better now so I'll get a better grade.

Doing What Is Right

It always hurts to be right. I mean, by doing the just and right. It is never easy, wuld you believe that? I hope you will, because if that is so, that means that you are able to understand and you are pacticing it. Others mockingly call you "righteous" whenever you just try to do right things you think is right, but well, we can't please everyone as the sayings say.

I have just learned something a while ago based on what I saw. My classmates(those who were late) and they are supposed to crawl under us wo are not late. These two classmates of mine are kind of..tired ecause they have to crawl many times 'coz they are late for so many times. The moment they saw our teacher turn back,they made a dash for a sortcut, but unluckily, they were caught and.. they made a long round of walking like a duck with their ears pressed together instead. Suc an exhausting replacement job.

Of course, I learned something from this. First, why owuld you come to school late when you can come early to avoid the punishment, right? But, since you are punished, why not accept the said punishment when you REALLY did that awful thing? Why not accept the punishment gacefully? So I believe that all we have to do is abide by the law, so as not to get a triple-punishment.

Honesty

Our topic in values a while ago is about HONESTY. So, our teacher asked us to say to the class the dishonesty we did in the past..or until now. Hahaha. Some were a pity, like spending their allowance for the internet (which I did sometime until now), cheating on the exam and anything. Others were funny, like my gay classmate making our other classmate his textmate and then they sort of, well, they were "ON" without the knwing of the boy that he was a gay! Hahaha..That was a hilarious time we had....

But, the time went for me(which is so so so veeeeryyyy a long wait) and I was then asked. I could think of notyhing for the moment because our teacher said that it would have to be outside of the family. So, I chose the friend matter. I thought I have really moved on on it, but..well, I cried. I haven't even finish what I wanted to say. This is my starting line:
"I lied to myself..and to others. I lied to myself, keeping myself believe that other people doesn't like me but I imposed myself on them..and I lied to them..that.."
Just like that and I went on to cry. Lucky there are others who were good enough to let me lean on them and our teacher was so kind enough not to impose what she wanted to do at the time. I mean, she didn't impose hearing on the tale. But I know she would like to hear about it, sooner or later, but of course, exclusively and only extended to her.

So that's it. But I want to finish what I wanted to say at that time. I wanted to say: "I lied to myself and to other people. I lied to myself, still believing that they like me even if they don't. And I lied to them, letting them believe that I don't know anything about it but I do. And so, I am torturing them by still imposing myself on them." That is what I wanted to say to them, only that I haven't finished it because I cried..and now I realize that it still hurts and I don't wanna talk about it. Well..I also mean those words as sorry..but no..I only made myself sorry.

About Honesty. I just hope that you girls like me must be honest, no matter what are the consequences. You have to face it. Because if you are not honest, there are more lethal choices. I just hope that I have done it earlier. Well, I believe it is not too late for you. And remember, to be honest most of the time, you should be honest to yourself first.

Certfifed Classmates

I thought of like, doing this in tribute for my classmates. I love them, honestly speaking, even if they didn't love me. Well, simply, I just want to remember everyone, even those people who made my life in High School abit..miserable.

Its not that I am that revealing enough. Of course, I am making it but with code names, and gonna remember them because I will classify and identify them by alphabetical order in our class record. Oh, this would be great, and I just hope that I'll finish this before graduation.

Here it is...:

1. Eagle- He is the very first on our class record. And uh-uh, he is also the very first in our top list for humbug person in classroom. No, no, I am not exagerrating, besides, we call him "tumor" because he has his head overgrown, gosh. But it doesn't mean that he has no good at all. Besides, we are close in our fresh man, but that only ends it because as we grow older, he grow every inch of a head, too.
2. Giant- The tallest in our batch and my classmates, too. He is the captainof volleyball playes of the year(uhmn..you know volleyball, anyway?) and he is..he has the face and he is the boyfiend of our Math entusiast and a top student girl too. He is the richest and he seems to be so..well, because he is rich but he is humble, too. I've got a crush on him when we were freshmen but whoa! That is so yesterday because I only have a crush on him when my classmates were tesing me about him. But I know better anyway, and, he and his girl were such a good friend.
3. Joseph- Hehehe. Well, of course, it is not his real name but then, I named him Happy Feet because his feet never stops working. He is also a math enthusiast but he only exceled now that we were in our last years in high school. Sometimes, I fight him about it, but really, I look up to him, too. Happy Feet is a transferee. I mean, he didn't start there at our school since first year and only transfered there when we were third year. Yah. But like everybody else, I'm gonna miss him, too.
4. Gay- He, er..I mean, she is the gay in our batch. Quite a gay. Hahaha. And sometimes he/she is irritating. When we were younge, I always remember that we always fight because he is such an irritating git gay. But now, we have already asserted tose misunderstandings and we are quite fiends although now that we were in fourth year, he always wears make up and walks in a girly fashion and he also wears a dress made for gils sometimes. And he is so funny because he got a crush on almost everyone in our batch. Its nowmal to have cush, but his cushes were not normal. I mean, they are not abnormal, but he is abnormal because his crushes were boys.
5. MilMan-is fathe is in the police, that's why. And he too, is a gay. But not in the quite sense, anyway. As a matter of fact, he is well-respected among the girls and the boys because he is smart, and decent. I mean, he is unlike Gay. Haha. Thats it. And he loves to design dresses and also good in drawing and he also is a joker. A great dancer, too. Truly talented.And he is my friend, too.
6. Dwarfin- We thought that he is the smallest in our batch. But he is cute. But no no no, I have no crush on him. He is just plainly cute and he has smiling face but he is so shy and so demure and so introvert that he is so limited, but not by the boys. Only to the girls. This year, we were some kind of close since we sit together on some classes and he is slowly opening up. Wow, he is talented, he knows a lot of great deal about guitar, and he is smart too. He is so nice and I like him that I let him copy my Mathematics seatwork sometimes. Really, I don't know much about him because he is the kind of person that is easily afraid of authorative figure around him. He is also afraid of me, I believe.
7. Sleepy- Because he always sleeps everytime we have class. He sleeps at English time, which he was really scolded by it, sleeps during Physics even if it is still morning. He aslo sleeps on our Mathematics. Well, that is what I have observed of him. He always sleeps. And he is some kind of quiet guy in our batch, too, and he seems really that afrid of me. Yah. Because whenever he comes first at school and I founf him or someone distorting my chair, he is so quick at arrnging it for me. Well, maybe I am that ferocious to him, but I did not mean to. Haha. But well, thats what I remember of him, Sleepy.
8. 5/6- We call him that because of his looks. Well, whenever someone is teasing him about it, he got angry, except at me. Haha. But he is also my friend and you won't believe it but when he was dumped by a girl, he turned all his attention on Physics! Uhmn..Not that he is so oh-so good at it but at least he tried although sometimes it irritates me when he is bugging me to teach him. Ha-hay. Well, but anyway, he is also a great friend, and he is like..well, he is like that he cares for me, really. But all just ends up with that and nothing else. There!
9. Change- I named him that because he is a very changed man now. When we were younger, I don't even notice him because he is so quiet and he seldom speaks up. Yah..So it is a shock now that he is interacting with the others, I mean, my classmates, and also to me. He just got that like that the time he got a girlfriend in the sophomore. Well, his girl is not that good-looking and his girl isn't that good for him but all in all, I am still happy that he has found his happiness. I just wish him luck. And oh-oh... As far as I can remember, he has also got the brains, only he didn't use it properly and only because he is not that confident and brave enough to try survive a raging temptest. Well, I hope he will change that too later on.
10. Jewel-Uhmn..you know a bit about Jewel. Well, he is my former enemy, my former crush, and now, the present cold shouldered. Because of the fact that I know that he likes me too, and promise, I know I wasn't just dreaming when I said it but he let that impertinent friend of mine to snag him just like that by anouncing to the world that she has a crush on him. Well, whatever they are doing, I do not care anymore. Anyway, I think he is finally happy now because of it and he seemed to be contented, so..I am happy for them both. Just like it.
11. Mole- He courted me when we were freshmen but that is our past, and nothing about it. Well, he is a quiet person who barelky talks but his sister said that he is too noisy whenever he is at home. Well, we won't know. ANyway, he has the brain, on;ly he is too quiet, that is why. But no regrets here, uhmn..he is nice and I like him cause he has no something whatever.
12. Geoff- According to my friend, my former M.U. Uhmn...can't say that well, but anyway, I have no feelings for him anymore, I think because of what he had done to me- playing with my affection for him. But I have no regrets by what I have experienced, at leasat I learned something from him. But I will never ever go back into his arms again, even if he is initiating too. Because I don't want a person who is playing others feelings, so I am so sorry Geoff. But Geoff is nice too only a playboy. He does average in school. But too good in basketball. And he is too uhmn..nearing the obssessive-compulsive disorder, like that. Haha.
13. Greggy- Yes, Greggy. Because he played Greggy for our auditions in dramatic dialouge. He played as my son. Hahaha. He is nice.. funny, the class joker and he has this group which they call the Three Kings. Yes. And I like him a lot.And he has this very handsome big brother I got a crush on. His brother is ssssssoooo cute. Promise, I swear. Not that Greggy is not cure too, but his brother is cuter, thats why. And we really love (my girl classmates and I) it when there is some kind of a meeting that requires a guardian to go there because his brother would be always present and we can get a chance to see him. hehe. Anyway, back to Greggy. Well, he is normal, like anyone else.
14. Junior- Hmn...let me think about him. Well, as long as I can remember, JR is one of those little boys I used to fight with the time we were freshmen.But we are good friends now even though I disagree with his principles.He is not a model studnt, he doesn't study he cheats, he is always late, he disobeys teachers, he doesn't wear proper uniform and etc. Well, that is how I remember him but he is a odd friend too although he always asks money from me. Hu hu hu. But hey- he is already a year or so steady with his girlfriend who is also my classmate in some subjects.
15. Morty-I think he is the one who will attract you the most in the class. At least,on first impressions. Just like that. But not with later on. Its as if, Morty is the crushable guy, get what I mean? But anyway, he is like a brother to me and even if we oftentimes fight, I still love him as a brother, and even if I had a crush on him in the past. But really, I really love him as a brother and would defend him if I have to. But I dont wanna show it to him of course. Why would I?
16. Smoking Joe- Thats what their coach calls him. Smoking Joe belongs in the volleyball team and he is literally a smoking Joe. Yah, he smokes, that much. And he is said to be devirginized by a gay and only paid him 50 bucks! Imagine that! My, my. He often calls me Dragon and he is a one mean bully but now he doesn't bully me anymore. Maybe he realized that I am of more use than him, ha! Well anyway, I started acting nice to him too and maybe thats why.
17. Brooh- Uhumn. The one I consider the most in my classmates as a brother. But a younger brother. Yes, he is older than me but I am more mature, so... Thats it. That settles the subject. He is my little brother for me. Its because he is sweet, likeable and handsome. Oh..yeah. Handsome. I have a crush on him before. His big brother was even voted as "The Man" in the campus. And he is the crushable hottie in the camous too. But I do not like him now as a crush, but just a small brother need to be guided. So there.
18. Peeves- We, my friends and I calls him Peeves not because he looks like a poltergeist but just because...its the only name that we can think of that fits him. He is so weird. I mean, he acts and thinks differently form the normals. He has this very odd questions and very odd beliefs. Sometimes, he irritates me. But, I cannot do anything about it, but accept him as him. It is his identity right? Still, I hate to think that there were times that I have to hate his guts. Uh...
19. Best?- AAAAAARRRRGHHHH!! He calls me best, saying we are best friends. We are not! Gosh! And he is really a pain in the neck. He is so irritating, so tiresome that there were times I have to be rude than usual. He talks so very echus and cheesy which I cannot stand. He is so irksome. That is why. But anyway, I planned to reconcile with him this Recollection Day. Whatever. Its just that, whenever I tried to be nice, He is abusing it. Bow-how.
20. Healer- Hmn...Another clown in the class. But there is something in Healer that I don't like a bit. Its because he has a very low self-confidence which he was doing purposely and I don't like it. I mean, he is self-pitying and that is not natural- that is a sickness that will soon turn into a very chronic disease! Gosh. Won't he change it? But anyway, we cannot change peoiple and we have to accept them for what they were, soo....What can I do? And anyway, he has also served his purpose. He was the one who tried to reconcile me with my friends. Oh, but to no avail of course when he tried it along with the other boys because as what they have said, I am a cold-hearted woman who was ready to risk everything just to save my prideful ass. Hahaha! A bad choice of word, but I think it is true!
21. PT- PT, yes, because he wants to be a physical therapist someday, and a good one he will be. I always come to him for a massage especially if I am stressed out. He is so fine. We were really not close though and sometimes I do not like him, the way he acts because he talks to loud. Duh.. But anyway, we are firends.
22. Setter- One of my most well-liked nboy in our batch. No, not as a crush but someone I really respect. His not that much of a math whiz but he will do. And he is God-fearing, a gentleman, and everything a girl could wish for. But of course, I do not like him as a crush. Hello? And we are friends. He said he is my classmate when we were kinder which is true. Hahaha, and now we were classmates again. Whooo! He is a very good volleyball player too.

THE GIRLS

Where To?

I am feeling a little(Or more) dramatics these past few days. Maybe..(AGAIN!!) it is because of that..cold war I am having with my former friends. Well, they still doesn't talk to me..But, as if I care now. No, I don't anyway. And I am not angry with them anymore(How many times did I told you that, anyway?) but its just...I still don't want to talk to them. But if necessary, then okay.

But they themselves doesn't feel like it, talking to me. And it gave me much comfort, unlike the past few days that I feel like I am gonna cry for what happened. SO that means that I am moving on.

It didn't gave me full guarantee though. Now, I didn't know where I should surely go and stuff. I am a bit confused with my life now. But, it gave me the idea not to think of long-time friendship and relationship anymore. Because now, I do believe that nothing lasts long. Or else, just nobody likes me.Hehe..But no sad feelings about that.

So, there. Think I gotta go. I am wondering why internet connections this past few days are wearing off. Gosh..Okay, ba-bye!!

I Don't Belong

I felt it so. But..yah, I am not sure about it. I don't know.. I am in the state of confusion right now..Maybe not only me. Maybe many teenagers of my age are experiencing this crisis too, I don't know. But me, for myself, has only one thing sure- that right now, I don't fit in, even with friends..and now..even with my family.

Okay, I didn't really know if I really fits but that is what I felt and please don't criticize me for it because it is such a long place when I have felt bad for myself. Yeah, I accept that I am wrong sometimes..but hey- could I be wrong everytime?I dont' think so! That is unfair on my part..So, that thing, I won't accept.

Another thing. I am constantly reminding myself not to go on internet much, because my funds now are getting low, so ba-bye!!! 'Till my next post.

HRH

Stands for His Royal Highness or Her Royal Highness. Hmn..Quite love those words. Only that I know that it is very hard to be one of them. Or truth rather said, it is impossible to be them.

Yeah. Right. NO joking or anything but I believe I am quite right. Because they are born for what they are..while we..well, we mortals, were all just looking up to them. So, it is quite impossible for the mortals and Gods to mix. But you know what? I don't consider them Gods and myself mortal. Only that I fancy using the term but I really didn't mean it. Huh! As if!

So now..I was had just researched about Prince William, real name is William Arthur Philip Louis. He is quite handsome right? And its a no wonder girls are smitten over him. But then, my admiration for him only stopped there by his good looks because the moment I knew that he is..uhmnn..HRH, well, I am quite discomfited.

Not that I don't like royalties. Only that, gosh.,they are hard to reach out, just like those celebrities like Daniel Radcliffe and Aaron Carter. It is like, dream on! So, there. I seem to not like him anymore.

Oh..But he really is handsome. Gosh, William, I just hope you are not a royalty nor famous. Cause you are so handsome!

But hey- I know this will not last. Hah! As if I don't know myself. So ba-bye. Might go and find some cute boys.

So So Confusing!

It is all about politics! Gosh, how I really loathed politics now. I hate the every word about it because politicians and politics itself are every dirty. They were..just like pompous people and that's what all I hate about them. Now, people are confused on who to believe and what to do and they don't know what they want anymore. Of course, I am talking for those poor and uneducated people who are like a child that doesn't know about themselves anymore and who were at the mercy of those itching politicians! Hate them! Those politicians I mean.

Okay. I know, I haven't said that thing first. Only that I felt that I have too. Because I really wanted to. Oh, whatever. What I mean now, is, not all politicians are bad, actually. There are few others who look out for the welfare of their people..and stuff. But thing is, there were a few of them, and politics is now covered by 90% of bad politicians who only look at themselves.

Why I wrote this now? Because I was aghast by what politicians in power has done to people. Heard from the news abroad and also on here. They are absurd.

So..I think it is better to be a famous writer or artist than a politician. Only, that saying only goes for me.

Huhuhu..Embarassing!

Extemporaneous talking. My most dreamt contest I want to join. But..well, it turns out to be my nightmare....

Because I wasn't prepared at the time. I don't even know that I am the contestant/ representative for our department, that's it. So the, rushing, we went to our Audio Room and then, set to fight. HUhuhuhu.. Only it turns out to seem like the biggest mistake of my life..

Well, there.Huhhuhuhuhu.I am so embarassed!! I didn't expect that there will be many watching as the contest is like..well, just sut up.. And..But then, my expectations were not to it.

So thats it. I have the question given to me and I kow the answer and practiced a little although unsure but when I saw the mob, gosh, I wanna faint and wanna cry in font. Huhuhuhuh..Such a shame..

Then..I was embarassed cause I stammered in front. Gosh..ow am I supposed to vure this blooming stage fright within me?huhuhuhu

Truth

Truth is ugly, I read in a parable. Yes. Though I barely remember that parable, I can still remember its whole meaning. That whilst people love to have the beautiful cover for their real and true identity, they also consider truth as the most ugliest form. People kept on hiding the truth because of fear that the others might think ugly about them. Why? Why is it that truth hurts, that truth is ugly, but still stood up to be the one of the most important thing we have to possess? Why?

Most people despise the truth. Including me so..don't try deny it. We hate to admit the truth that someone is better than us, that someone outlives us. Or whatever. We hate to admit that. And then..now what? We will be hurt, hurt more than ever. But you know what? There is a solution for that. Solution for the pain because of truth....

We have to accept the reality. Accept our mistakes without blaming others because it happened with us part of it. It is never good to blame. And we have to accept our weaknesses just as like how we accept and brag our strengths.

Truth hurts but we can minimize it. You know what? I am not like this before but then I am enlightened and now, I accept truth with all my heart even if it really hurts and there! I am now immune to it and now, I become stronger. I want my readers to be strong too, because I do not want you to be hurt like me, like I do when I was in my pain..You know. Be strong, everyone, and believe in ourseleves.

Magazine

I promise by the name of my own..I won't really get carried away with those magazines anymore! Wondering why? Well, I only came up to realize as an artist that magazine personnel especially their creative man are only exaggerating those covers for their magazine to convince people to buy it. I realized it first, as an artist, and second, as a practical consumer. Why buy it when all that "advice" they give is just circulating to one another? C'mon... No I don't mean to destroy the image of magazines, only I am telling my opinion. I mean, what I was really trying to say is that I (So it really means for myself) am going to buy a magazine only not because of its advice but because of the artists on the front cover. Okay, I am not implying that you should do it as well because I don't want you to. What I want more is people to know what they really want and not what they get from others. So there....!

Prince WIlliam

I have reserahced about hima glimpse. Well, because i have an obssession for him, like the other girls. Okay, okay..Honestly, I don't know anything abut this royal blood people this modern times but then, last summer, I heard on the news that thise certain Prince William had broken up with his long-time girlfriend, I-don't-know. Oh I don't care about his royalty, his British Military Rank but only his good-lookd. My, he is so handsome, I am so smitten over him.

But no no no.. I don't want to sound like a cheerleader because Academics is my line. I have already forgotten about that "William" thing but it came back this time when I have an internet friend who talked about him. He said William is a bore but hey, his words affect me much that my obssession for that Prince came back.

So thats it. And I came to believe that Ste is Prince William. Of course,I am having just my usual illusion so no harm there. I just adored Ste so much, because unlike other internet guys, he respected me and even gave me advice. He is so great and a wothry William...
Right?

Pop Girl

Why does it really hurts to be a girly girly? haha. Well, its on my blood and I can do nothing about it. I cannot change it, so I have to flaunt it. Really, it seems queer that a geek like me is a girlish fashionista, so there! I always create havoc, especially among my classmates. Hahaha.. I can't help but laughing.

So, there. I have once again proven to the world and especially to myself that I am a REAL AND TRUE girly at heart. I have just burned a new cd and all of its songs were..well, all was suited for a girl. But hey- don't mistake me for a girly pink girl because pink is not my favorite. It is orange and green.

Okay. I think I made my point. I only wrote this because I had nothing to think of on what to write this day. Or would you rather hear more about my "friends"? Well, I thought about it for a while and I thought that the more I hear and talk less of them, the more I shall gain recovery. Right?

Me, Me, Me

That's quite selfish. But I do not know the other way. Its my own way of defense against life's harrassment towards me. I mean, on what life does to me- by leaving me alone with no friends to have to lean on.

Harsh, yes. But now, my only way to save myself from hurt and pride is through thinking of myself only. Narcissm, that is what they call. But, well, thats the only thing I can hold on to.

It hurts, really. But only a little now, when seeing my friends, I mean..former friends..being happy even without me. They don't seem to mind it. Well, as if I really mind it a lot now. I don't and hey- I am not also angry with them. But now I came to think that life with them will not be likely, no matter what. So now, I was only thinking of myself, my family, my future, my likes and my wants and needs. Kudo, so that is no harm for anyone, I believe?

Well, I am not infatuating about my crushes, either. I have learned that no one's gonna like me if I don't get something..I mean, achieve something so all I have to do for now is to study hard, no boys please and then..TADAA! I'll have anyone I like as long as I am what I want to be. I mean, like I'm gonna be a successful lawyer or a ver famous writer..Well, there's going to be on like there, so I'll just wait for that time right?

So there! I promised myself that I have nothing to worry of about having friends because I can be a loner or whatever..so promise I won't get hurt anymore, especially if attachments through people.

New motto: Why please them when they don't even please you?

Hurting Inside

Really, I am. I hate to be vurnerable, but I can't help it. But..C'est la vie. That's life. I can do nothing about it... But, I hate them more.. Oh, before I proceed, I want to let you know that I am meaning my former friends, Dude and the Company.

I am hurt by what they have done to me this past few days. But what hurts most is that they ignore it and what hurts much more and most is that they even back stab me. As if I am a nonsense to them all the time. Am I really? That made me always wonder with myself. I have made almost everything to please them but why am I always left out? I am always shunted in one corner especially if they didn't need me.

But hey! I didn't hate them for it. No. But well... It made some changes in me, somehow.

I have been a bit..quirky now. Uhmn.. Well, yes. I am quirky before but I am now unusually quirky. And you know what? I believe I am starting to be a loner. Gosh... I don't want to, but the fate has its own calling andyou cannot stop it. Well, I am not letting myself to be a loner but after talking to my-more-reliable- internet friends, I have already told myself, well, this is it. So I cannot do anything about it because this is where I intended to end up to.

Though I am really that hurt after all the betrayals I experienced, I am still trying to stop my self to wish them ill cause I know that that is bad. So there, que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be. I can't do anything about it. All the best I can do for now is to heal my broken heart. Broken from a friend's betrayal.

Gio

Gio. Ya ya yahh.. My other crush who looks like the model I've got a crush on. I am always wondering why whenever he always see me and vice versa, I always caught him looking at me just like I frequently look at him. Hmn...Something fishy going on here, I think...

So, a while ago, after school, me and my friends are used on wlaking home. And he also seems to walk from home to school and vice versa. But only at the main school and not the branch. And then, I didn't expect what happened a while ago. Well, we just met, thats all, not sort to fuss off, but it really is a big deal to me.

He smiled at me.. Thats all but it really meant a lot. He is my crush and I am so head-over-heels on him as a crush and when he smiled, gosh..his face really lit up. And I am positive that it to me he smiled and none others. But oh, idiotic me, I didn't even respond, just like the first time he said "hi" to me. Now, he'll think I am not interested in him, dear me.

What am I gonna do? I am always praying that may I see him always but whenever it is granted, it just come to a naught. Oh, dear me, dear me.

And yeah, I forgot to tell you, too.Just this morn, I saw him totally cause we line up for using the bathroom. Haha..Just lucky of me but idiotic at the same time.

When No One's Around

I hate to say this, but it really hurts whenever the friends you believe they are are leaving you. In my previous post, I have told you about my fight with my friends and you know what is the result? They just ignored it! THey even seem happy that I am gone in the group. Well, if that is what they want, I think, it is the best thing that I'll let them leave me 'cause I have no guts in holding on the person who doesn't like me.

But it still hurts me. It is never easy for me. So now, all I think is that I have to accept the truth, that no one likes me. I wish I were not born. Neither in my family now by my friends REALLY likes me. Then, what is my purpose if that is so? What do I have to do here in this world when no one seems to like me and truly like me?

What adds to my depression more is about Morty. Gosh, he is such a cur!! I hate his guts. Well, I hate his guts, but like him. What's with that? Explain it please. I think I understand but when I ponder those things, well, it seems like all my thinking has gone off. Anyway, by now, I have proven to myself, and so as Morty's, that he doesn't like me-so there.

And to go to Jewel. Well,he is back form the City Meet so as the others..and then, well, we spent quitye some time again now and I am still in doubt whether he likes me or not. But duh..! As if all I care is about boys.

Well, I am so happy to say that I have finished my examination in P.E although I got a sure 9-point wrong..and others are not included. Whatever. As long as it seems that all my major subjects got a percentage in line of 9, that will be fine to me.

Betrayal=Revenge

I am taking it very seriously. Well, this might be petty for you and for everyone, but no, this is a big deal for me although I myself was also like...eugh..But no, keeping in on my story..

It is our P.E Examination this day. Well, we have the first part of the test and it is such a nosebleed! It is about games scheduling and..oh whatever. Round robin, single elimination,...oh what is that crap?! Well, honestly, the thing here is that I really don't understand a bit of it.

So, thats it. That made it. The topic was a very gift for Morty because he know it well, being an athlete himself. but then, of course, I still don't know the majority of it.

So, I was hurt. Morty knew about it but then, I believe he gave his paper to those others first before me and my ego was hurt and struck. Yeah..that is the first reason. Second reason is that I was also hurt that my friends "betrayed" me. Well, I let them copy whenever I know something about a certain topic especially Mathematics but those heartless bitches who never looks back at what help you gave!! Well, rthey simply ignored me, to my pleadings and everything! I think they always do that every exam but then..TO HELL WITH THEM!

So thats it, I am going to seek revenge. Well they just wait until tomorrow and they will se what is in store for them. Hate them for the moment but I think it will fade. And oh...I am wondering..hey, why is it that almost all of my classmates are teasing me to Morty although he said that I am only suited for his friend, Geoff. But then, many told me he likes me. Oh, whatever is the crap?

But then, when I told him that maybe he is my half-brother, he really went into hysterics. Maybe thats because he likes me in secret or does he really not like me????

Music and Poems, Literature and Being Mature

Uhumn...For me, those things are well-connected. Hehehe. Well, for the music part, I like listening to those thats "in", especially to Hilary Duff's. You know, teen pop. LOve it!! And I mostly like a song/ music whenever its lyrics were well befitted to me and whenever its lyrics were mature enough to my taste and has some inspirational message.

For the poems. I love poems. Whoever of the Greek muses has the power of poems? Uhmn..Calliope? Yeah..maybe. As if I care. As long as, whoever that Muse is, she had given me that power in poetry that I thanked her very much. Because I believe that I was given that very special gift and that it brings my maturity to the highest level especially whenever I am feeling emo.

And so as for Erato, one of the 9 Muses. Well, I believe I have to thank them all for giving me this special prowess in poetry and literature. Well, you know what? When I was still alittle girl, I believe in all this what-they-call- fallacies. Well, I believe in Goddesses Aphrodite, Artemis, and Athena. They are my favorite. For beauty & love, protection, and war and wisdom. Right?I believe that is all I ever need. Of course, I believe in God the Almighty.

And now, back to what my main topic is. About maturity. Well, it is well-connecxted to literature because I believe that literature is an eye to your heart, to your emotions and well-being. So thats it, although it isn't well-said, I believe that will suffice. BYE!!!

The Un-Shopaholic

Whew!! I just came from the mall, and in my opinion, it must be very boring for those shopaholics I have heard. Oh, shopping is boring, I assure you and that word is from me..Gosh, I am wondering how they are able to get through all of it. C'mon..., as if I also have many money to go shopping.

Same as when I go shopping with Mum whenever she is here.. Well, she has lots of money if ever she will take us to the mall, and so, I must be very..you know..have great time in shopping but no, it only bores me.

Well, enough of that chirping, I think I have to go sign out now because I need to read that book about a certain princess. Oh well, ba-bye!!!

Confused, But All Set

Right now, I am terribly confused. Like my past self, I am confused but by other means now. But of course, I have changed and I believe I am more wiser, and more experienced to know my problem/s.

Well, its about love life once again my dears. Its about Morty and Jewel. Well, I am-what do you call it?- torn between the two of them. Well, its because I miss both of them. I miss Morty because I haven't seen him for days and as you know, I have a hidden crush on him and I can reveal on no one because my best friend also has a crush on him...!!

So now, I am very torn between them. I both missed them although I doubt what are the reasons. My classmates were teasing me about Morty, particularly my classmate Pia, she said we are compatible. Haha..as if!! Morty and I are always bickering..oh no, not everytime but you know, he is spirited like that. Thats what I like about him.He always, you know, wanted to irritate me but also cares for me at the same time. I really likes his personality and he is also a Math Wiz too. I really can't forget the fact that because of him, I am now a Math witch. And he has a face to boot, too.

Jewel. Well, he is some sort of cute if you will really look and our Electronics teacher always teases him to me. And it started when he started to act..like..well, I don't know. Maybe I am having my same old illusion again. But, really, that is what I am feeling like now and the few others that he has a crush on me.

But help!! I dont know what to do. I dont know who I like more- Morty or JEwel?

Secret Is Best For Safety

Sometimes, a person has to tell the whole truth to be safe. They have to tell he whole truth with all the honesty they have and to have to ay everything to the authority-nothing more, nothing less just to be safe fr0m the prying eyes and harmful people. But when your enemy is one of your friends,..or your best friend rather, well that is another story.

Remember Morty? The one I thougt was jus my brother, my friend? Well, I have this irksome crush for him again!! HAhahaha.. I don't know but when I was a freshman, I have a crush on him, too. But hey, its only 'till crush, huh? I don't love him or have been infatuated with him like I was infatuated with Geoff in the past. Yes, thats only in the past so now, I am free from the prison he put up on me. So by now, I am having a crush on Morty, Jewel, and Joseph. All in order from greatest to lowest although I am having second thoughts on the first and second.

Okay. Now there's almost problem with the two of them aside from the fact that I son't know whether they like me or not. Oh, as if it mattered to me. It doesn't matter to me anyway. Thing is, my best of friends like them too. One of my friend, Dude, REALLY likes Morty (remember Dude?) and so as my beauty queen friend Lala. She has an infatuation with Jewel but many said that Jewel likes me instead. But come to think of it, who will like a dragonite like me comparedto a beauty queen? So, of course, I haven't told anyone about my crushing to Jewel, especially my friends. I like him first, before Lala got a crush on him but then, I don't know why I haven't told them, and now I have my final decision not to tell them anymore cause I believe it will just fade away after sometime, and then, I'll have no prob regarding our friendship at all.

OK. Matter now with Morty. Well, Dude loves him and she came in first alhough he has clearly no crush on her. And we are closer than Dude. But then, I don't wanna be traitor to my friends, and besides, thats only a CRUSH and it will sooner or later fade away so better not tell them for the sake of our friendship right? Thats why sometimes, I come to think of it, secret is good but no..DONT TELL A LIE!!!

Relax A Bit

Because "All work, and no play, makes me a dull girl." Hahaha!! I am just making that one up, though, so as to give excuses for myself. But no, I promise, I am gonna do good in my study. I will study hard this evening, I swear to my name and everything. To the witches' name!! PROMISE...!!! Hey, speaking of witches, I want to let everyone know that I wanted to be one. I wanted to be initiated. And you know what? I am practicing witchcraft now, although secretly. And anyway, no one will believe me if I told them. They will just think that I am gone mad to the highest level.

Lady Luck or whoever lucky must be with me this day. Hahaha. Yeah..I can say that because just the early morning of this day, I woke up with a very good start. I mean, I can say that it is a good start because I woke up at the time I please since it is our examination and examination for seniors and juniors always takes place at afternoon. So there! And then, I went a little bit studying and you know what excite me most?! Hahahaha! I wanna bath, so of course, I went to the bathroom. But then, when it nopened, my crush was there! Gosh, he is sooo cute! Hahaha. And then, he talked to me a little and a bit..casual..which is dissappointing on my part. But hey!!After that, he kept on looking at me.

And second. Second reason why I thought Lady Luck was with me. Our exams were..you won't believe it for our physics, but I wasn't that pissed off!!And I am so happy about it because that is saying something...

So..what now? I think I have to go or everyone might schold me for not studying!!

Sunburns...

Gosh! By the name of Aphrodite, guys, let me tell you this, I have my sunburns. I got a 1st degree burn!!! It is so horrifying, in the name of vanity...!

Well, yersterday, we went to the beach although this season of year consists mostly of rain, but lucky enough for my cousin who celebrated his 4th birthday, and lucky for us, the rain haven't arrived. What a relief.

But the sun burned so badly and it is emitting heat so very strong. And the thing is, I hate putting sunblocks or lotion to my skin since I hate the job and my skin isn't used to that stuff. So, I went to the sea with the sun on its full heat and by the morrow, I got sun burned.

At least, I have total fun. We went to the sea where there were part of coral reefs and even swimed there. REally amazing, and I love the sea very much. Because when I was young, I dreamt of being a mermaid., HAha./

And I just swimed all day so now, I was suffering form a terrible skin-face disorder. Whenever I touch my skin, I felt it so prickly and my face is so very hot that I feel like I am having a fever. But no, I have not. It is just because of the mere heat of the sun yesterday that embraced my skin.

Well, the beach is not bad, obviously. What is bad is the fellow people there whom I have swimed with. Particularly the boys. So flirting and I wanted to scratch their eyes out. Boys are the world's greatest flirt. Well, its because they kept on bugging me, wanting to know myname and to chat with me even if they are starngers. Well, I know they are being friendly but they sound too overy friendly that it was more than flirting. And hey! There's this one guy who caught my eye and I caught his, only, he turned out to be so..urgh!! Too flirt! So thats it, I swimed riskly farther and deeper sea. Haha. And they weren't able to follow me cause they don't know how to swim.

Curse all flirty boys be!!!

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Most of us, when asked to elaborate that piece of wisdom, meant it literally. Most of us will say- which is the simplest, I believe- that we ought not to judge people based by their physicasl appearance, that we must know them well enough before judging them because we m ight not know, others who were ugly were kind-hearted and those beautiful and popular were the meanest gals you'll find here in Land.

But dear fellows, its not what really means. Oh, I didn't mean to tell you that we are wrong by that explanation. Besides, that is right, only my explanation no was elaborated and more meaningful than that. What I mean is, yah, the meaning I said earlier was truly right, and I believe it is the most besic meaning we could ever find. But I have more than that. Here it is...

My explanation for it folks, is that, when someone did things, you can't just judge them by what they have done, but also for the reason. And no, not just for the reason, but why had that reason has come to him/ her.

Have you heard of the story of a Mascot? If you haven't, let me tell you then. There's this Mascot, who, in real life, wears an eyeglass. Now, before getting into his costume, he has to have that kind of spray so that he won't get too heated up in it. But alas! Unluckily, the spray caught his eye but he protested naught and he went just inside it for he is very after the job, whatever kind of job. But once he was inside, he was swaying his hand mad to try to reach for his eyeglass but then, at the outside, as a Mascot, he looked so funny that children laugh at him.

Do you get my point? I mean, okay look at the mean girl at your school. She looks so scary even if she is beautiful, but what you don't know when you befriend her is that, she is nice too, even if only a little. You look at you school's genius and then, just because she is genius, she can't be a fashinista and be pretty, or even get a boyfriend. And vice versa. Well, if you think something like that, thenyou could be that very wrong.

What I just want to put into your minds( so as mine) is that we should judge not only the physical appearance, but also the whole being and the very aspect of a person. So that misunderstandings might seldom come and therefore there will be peace. Isn't that just great?

I'm A Mean Girl

I didn't mean to frighten you about me. It is just that, I did really realize it now. Only now, when I was at school, dressing for our PE. Well, I remembered something about a girl in a movie who has other girls gaping at her and then they back off easily whenever she is around. And then, the PE changing room comes when I thought I can see some girl who can get a place for herself even if she that place was taken by somebody else. I can visualize someone like that and then, it came to me- I am like that girl sometimes. But in my part, I am not saying that I am a mean girl for no reason. I tryied to be catty because I like too, and I only take place whenever I have too and whenever I have suffered too much. Well, so that means that we cannot judge the book by its cover. Thereis more meaning to that and I'll tyackle that next...

My Dear Papa

Maybe now I know the reason why I haven't been blessed with my dream man, or dream guy, either of the two, whichever pleases me and you. And that must be for the reason that even if our family has only one man, he is still the ever sweetest man that we knew and we(my Mother, my sisters and I) will ever know. And that is our dear Papa.

Well, I have told you about it. My father was in jail for almost 8 years in running. Gosh..yes, I can hear you say that. Way too long. But no, I am already immuned in it. His being in jail when I was young helped too and made me immuned to it. And now, even without him, I have been able to live happily and like other normal youth and so as my sister although in my part, I am missing him terribly.

And now here goes my story about him and his sweetness and generosity to us his daughters. Even if he is in prison, he still try and do his best to reach us out, reach our needs and give us financial and moral support. To tell you honestly, he gives me moral support than our Mother does, and he always appreciates my achievements-which I believe no one notice except him. He always appreciates me, and always encourages me to stuffs and like that, something my Maman and the others barely noticed. And I am grateful to him for that.

I love my father and I am sooo prous of him although I do not appear to do so. But in reality I do and I am proud of him and I look up to him, for his wisdom and knoledge and everything, even his imperfections. He may be the only man that I won't get tired in loving. Oh, and also my grandpapas too, but his more than the two of them.

History Movies

Its more about princesses, and kingdoms. I saw these in a DVD collection and I do not know why I am taking it seriously. Here are their reviews and I hope you find my reviews good, and that you will be convinced to see it for yourself.

• Anastasia- Honestly, I do not know anything about its story at first, I don't know who is the leading lady and everything but I found it very good. Three thumbs up, or four rather. It is a story about the survivor daughter of a Tsar who people were looking for because she has 10million dollar inheritance and then they found this girl who is like a suicidal and she doesn't know anything about herself but then, she acts and looks like the long-lost Grand Duchess Anastacia and she was brought by General Bounine to the Empress to sign her approval that it is the Grand Duchess and almost all of the critics believed that she is the Duchess although no one knows about the TRUE duchess if she isn't. In the end, she and Bounine went off together.
• Marie Antoinette- It is about the infamous France's queen, Marie Antoinette, letting people see what tghey have misunderstood about her and the reason behind her extravagance. Well, I believe she is copletely misunderstood because it is of her husband who would not touch her until the later part of the story. After she had already spent that much., But at least, in the movie, it is said she had remorse and led a new, simple life with bher husband and children but I believe it is the opposite in real life.
• Princess of Thieves- starring the daughter of Robin Hood, the very beautiful daughter of the outlaw, Gwyn Locksley. But she is equal to any man in the matter of archery and horse riding. When her father won't let her go with him to help save and out the into the throne the son of King Richard, Philip, she siguises herself as a boy and went off to help. but it has a sad ending because even if Philip gained the throne, Gwyn and Philip didn;t have a chance to prove their love to each other. Huhuhuhu...So sad.

The Black List

This is a post that must be updated from time to time because in this post, I am keeping a list of blacklisted people in my life. So, for the first series of this post, these are the blacklisted people in me:

• Aunt Jenelly- well, who is it in the family that loathes you and that is so insecure at you? Probably, they are the same as my aunt. Hah! She is deserving to be put in a blacklist. Know what is the reason? Because I believe that she is insecure in me because I have surpassed herself and her favorite neice Greta. Haha. As if! I am not that pretty or that smart enough to be insecured of, huh? BUt they are and I hate her for that because she is making my life miserable JUST because of it.

Pardon: None

Type: Disinherited, BLACKLISTED!

• Cousin Auny Greta- Huh! I hate her!! Hate her guts for playing the angel while all the time she is the devil herself. How dare her, making me the bad girl everytime while they don't know that she is an unbearable git, and I know it, I can feel it that she is sooooo insecure to me. Ha! But you now what? I loved her as my cousin. But then, I don't know, cause when we grew up, she just some kind of..well, thats it, making me bad and everything with my Aunt Jenelly. I hate them and both are disinherited...!

Pardon: None.

Type: BLACKLISTED!!!

• Uncle Gaeit- He is sooo disgusting, too, like my stinking aunt and stinking cousin. Hate him..Huh!! As if, too. I REALLY LOathe them!!He too, like his other relatives, is also insecure on me, and I don't like it why he is feeling that way when all I did was sit there. He is not only what after I have achieved, which is achieved by me,

Well guys, thats it for now, but I'll keep this for more upcoming blacklisted in my life. For now, it is BA-BYE!

Chop Chop Chop

Uhumn. Glad it is already end of the month, October and gald it is already Halloween, or in much formal words, All Saint's Day. AT LAAAAAAAAST! And the best part? I have time to spend my vacation not in our dormitory but in my own humble abode. Oh, at last at last and at last. I am so lucky, you see. Our adviser for the school paper, miracurously, has allowed us just to do the article in our vacation and will just check it at the back of school. Isn't that great? I LOVE it!

This day, we went to a certain area a bit faraway from the city and we did tree planting there. I planted onetree there called..uhmn..what is it again..ahh, yes, a tree called Dao. WHat is that anyway? Haha. I dont even know. But then, at least my friend helped me planted it because you see, I have a fear on earthworms and it is so disgusting that when I began to dig the soil, I saw an earthworm wriggling tis body. EWWWWW...!
So thats it. And oh. About Geoof. I don't know what I am feeling about him but I know that this is..not love. Definitely and precisely. Uhuh..I am not tryingto hide my feelings but then, well, it is not love. I believe I am already over him. You know what? Whenever I am near him or imagined to be near him, its like there is..a chill going down inside me. Have you ever experienced something like that? Gosh..Its like, I totally went icky whenever he is near me. Can anyone explain to mre why that happens so?
AND ANOTHER THING:About Jewel. Gosh..A fallacy!! See? My friend is so very smitten to him and I like him too, before my bestfriend revealed that he is smitten to him. Oh, God..now what would I do? Mon Dieu!!! What am I gonna do? No one knows about it, and I am just hoping against hope that my liking on Jewel will just cease. But nonono, I think..Oh, well, I am telling you, I am hoping. Because I like him insome unfounded reasons. Oh, whatever. Anyway, I am currently listening to a HSM2 music. I am feeling Sharpay like now. Hahaha. And- HEY! I just saw Ratatouille and its great!! Anyone can cook!!!

Whew!!!

Why? Why? Why?
Why in the world did it happened? To some unfounded reasons, I can't log in to www.hexrpg.com. Gosh, that IS so revolting. Yeah. I can't log in for what?.. Almost a week now. Now, tell me what happened. I cannot log in, when I am in desperation to want to log in. Oh, c'mon.. I really wanna log in because I have many unleft role-plays that needs replying. And, oh, what if I will be left by my co-writers? But really, i realize, it is a bit childish. Hehehe....

Well, now, to more serious topics. Uhmn.,.About Halloween first. Oh...I haven't any ideas if I will get the chance to celebrate it with my family this year. Last year, I haven't made it with them because I am very busy reviewing for Mathematics quiz so I am in the dormitory all alone and no one with. But now, maybe it will be another story. Really, i would really love to celebrate it with my family, if you only know. I don't wanna be alone in that day. It is soooo creepy. Hehehe
And you know what? One thing: I am so-so flabbergasted! Well, do you still remember that nice couple we have in school? I am so..oh gosh, they are so-dead! HUH! Well, the guy asked me to write some speech for him for that certain program in their club and I told him, ask your girlfriend but she decline so so I made one for him but then, after all the hard work I put to it, I was only insulted by the girl. Gosh, she is so dead with me. HUH!

Non Pas

Oh, what??!!Whatever..I dunno.. SIGHHH... Okay, I'll tell you the bad news about the Journalism. Huhuhuhuhu..I didn't even made it even to the top 7!! And what's more, I am super busy because of it that I have no chance to make my assignment and projects. Such a shame to the people aroound the world(what?).
Forget about that horrid thing. Oh, whatever. Sharp, sharp, sharp. Hahahaha.. Well, I dont wanna remember about it...so..TRANSPOSE!!!!
Well, well..Looks like I am becoming a bit more like Sharpay. If you watch High School Musical. Yes, Sharpay Evans, i love that character. Real catty and so evil though I swear I am NOT evil in real life. MAybe a little bit. Hehehe.

No Chance

Okay, Okay, Okay. I am The Copy-Reader. The so-called perfectionist. But you know what? I felt horrible this day. SO terrifying, if you only know. All I did this day is sigh and sigh and sigh. Now, I am gonna tell you about the contest proper. Whew..I thought I know everything, but you see, we got no training, so- MAN! Was I so thankful that they got us briefed before the contest begun. So, I knew some tricks although not all. And, gosh..even if I knew some tricks, it is still no use, because, I violated one of the VERY first law in copy-reading, and that is, I for got top use a pencil. Oh as if. We aren't told by our trainors that we have to use pencil, so that is the end of it.

Oh, I am very terrified. We are not trained and.. gosh. Whatever. So, the topic gave to us was about a Polishman rape case, and hey, this is my Headline:

Foreigner prosecuted yesterday

Polishman accused attempted rape

by a sixteen-year old girl

Quite good, huh? I am satisfied of it, only, I didnt used pencil. WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! NO CHANCE!

All i need is a miracle from heaven above and I hope so. Whatever. Tomorrow is the awarding, but no hopes here!

Journalism, Journalism

Copy-reader. Yeah, that's me. As I hope you still remember it, I have already discussed it with everyone else who is willing to take a peek into my TROUBLED life. Well, yeah. Now, back to our main topic. Well, here it is. I have been chosen as the copy-reader in our team. Now, the thing that bothers me is that I believe I don't have talent in that area. But then, I cannot do anything about that since I am merely assigned for that part. Oh, duh...
And now, what is more is, I believe that is the lowest part slash rank or-whatever-you-call-it in our team. And I don't like it a little bit. You know me for not understanding those too-under duties because I more prefer to lead or do jobs in higher positions and ranks. And now, I have to test the waters and test my own capabilities in adopting this. Gosh, this gonna be the hard time for me..and us, rather. Because you see, unlike the past years and our previous successors, they have been trained well enough before joining the contest, while we.. we were left in the river to do our own. And almost all of us has no experience in this except Dude.
Please, please, please. What bothers me most is that I am not bothered. I have been always bantering and bothering whenever I have to join contests but this one doesn't bother me. Gosh..I think something is gonna happen that I won't really like. Oh, please, pray for me and wish me luck. WHEW!!

Outaraged!!!!

I am so terrifed, if you only know..I wanna cry. Someone put a very outrageous and unspeakable pictures. Such a slap on my face. A blot of escutcheon in me. Yaeh..there is this lewd pic in my friendster, and really, I was very very ashamed of it, even if I am not the one who put it. Gosh, did someone tried to sabotage my dignity?
So so so...I hate to say it but really I was ashamed, gosh. But anyway, I have already tried to change my password and I hope no one will dare sabotage me again. Too much of it, my mood is wearing off and I think that I have to do my research and browsing. Gosh, such a horrid day.

Flirt Wench- That's Me

Maybe those things in my past(I am talking about my lovelife) has affected my present. Oh, but how could I forget? That pastis past but it is the part of your present. I really believe in that. And mind you, that is my own saying.
Well, maybe I am turned to be this flirt because of my past. Oh, c'mon. First, I was talking about Archie who i thought I love dearly but turns out that maybe it is just an infatuation. First, Archie, who didn't regard my affection for him as a serious one and only thinks of me as a..what? A toy? Oh, to hell with him. And so as Geoff. I thought he really loves me and was only waiting for the right time, but now, I realized that you can't wait for the right time because the right time is everytime you are ready. Oh, how idiot I am. And maybe because of the tauntings of other people about me having no lovelife maybe thats why I am turning to be illusionada and whatever.
And now, to my realy problem. I am flirting again. And to Gio. Oh well, I don't know if I am just illusioning but I can feel it and I can see it that he is always watching me. Like last friday. I saw him watching me as I went to the stairs and he always does that. And also a while ago. I just came from a spree when I arrived with my friends and we were laughing and evetything when I saw him and he really..stared is the right word, see. He does. Does that mean he has some feelings for me?oh I would love to only i would be cautious in approaching flirting this time.

Big Girls Don't Cry; As Big Boys Often Lie

Come on!! I have learned enough! And I hate to say, more than intended to. I can see that I cannot totally have one to trust in this damnated world. Begone! HUh..First: About Geoff. How distorting of him, to have another girl behind my back. Oh, not that we are officially on, and right, I have told everyone who read my blog(so as my self) that I had nothing to do with him and I really MEAN it. I have alreday done it, trying to avoid him and never faling into his traps again. But then, it just hurts when I came unto the knowledge that he is flirting another grl as he tried to still flirt me. How conspicuos of him. I loathed him now. But there's no whay letting out of him since we are classmates of afew subjects. All I have to do is try avoid him( as if I can) and wait for the end of the class by next year and I won't see much of his displeasing face. Or maybe I could get a boyfriend so that myself would heal. But all in all, big girls DO don't cry.
Second: My new crush, Gio. Well, He is older than me by a year or two, come to think of it. He is handsome, and what caught my interest to him is that he looks like my model crush, thats why. And oh no, don't think of him as just a pretty-boy next door. He is also intelligent as he was taking Engineering with his lowest grade yet to be 84%. Isn't that smooth? But then, he is giving me this fool's thinking that he has a crush on me because whenever we met, he always says "Hi" that seems so odd because I think he doesn't know me, or am I that popular in te dormitory? And I don't know him that well, too. And he seems to always look at me, even if he thought I am not looking.
Hush. Third: Jewell. My bestfriend has a crush on him, and I believe he has a crush on me. Maybe. Because of his gestures and now, I don't wanna hurt my friend but he keeps on coming to me, having those cozy lectures he's got from me and others were starting to think he LIKES me. Oh..But I just can't do anything about that. Besides, its not confirmed that he likes me.
Fourth: Joseph. I was furious about him, don't you know that? He defeated me, as what he said. In our latest examination in Mathematics, I got two mistakes while he got only ONE mistake. How dare him. He ruined my papers with the proffessor, but come hell or heavens i will surely beat him next exam, no matter what. And he is flirting me. Huh...
Fifth: That guy I met at the Interbranch. No no no. The guy who took the first place where I seconded. I can't take him off my mind. Maybe because he is too intelligent and I am ignorant to a too intelligent boy, seeing tat the other day, my boy buds and classmates were amazed that I have read the Harry Potter 6. Oh, I have no time understanding sub-species, you know. Come to think of it.
Anyway, I am not saying in this article that boys are liars, its just, I was trying to point out that boys are a real ache to the girl's heads.

My, My, My

Oh..DISGUSTING, if there is no other word for it!! I hate my cousin, I hate my aunts who favored her, and so as my uncle who took their side as if he doesn't know what they REALLY are. Now, come to think of it, I don't dislike them nor hate them, I DESPISE them. I LOATHED them!!! How could they? When only I was just a little of advantage for them because I am smart, and not a frilly-looking girl who possessed- unlike them- a sophistication they can never outmaneuver on me even if they tried? Oh c'mon! For Pete's sake!!!
What am I, really? Why would my near-of-age relatives would hate me, or despise me whereas there's nothing I did do to them. And they think of me as a selfish brat. Come to think of it,when I was doing things that I thought would make my family happy. How could they? Oh well... For all the damnation world would care!
And you know what guys? I was livid when they were insinuating that I am using or taking their things WITHOUT permission. How dare they suggest that absurdity? And since my roommates were now on my cousin's side, they were making my life a hell!! Because all they can see is that cousin of mine being an angel and me a devil! And right this moment, I don't wanna be their roommates thats why I was deciding if I would transfer to another room dormitory next semster seeing this s now a semestral break But.. I can't afford to much trouble when I have only one year and would be gone. But..Oh!! I have already thwarted those aunts and uncle and my cousin in my family bible book and whatever might happen to me, be it good or bad, I had nothing to do with them because I had already disown them and if something bad happens to me, then they gotta be happy because they would get no load of me. But if I pull something a good luck upon me, why, they got nothing to do with me either and that they won't have any of my ever fortunes at hanbd. Huh!!! Let them go to the blasting freezing hell!

Geoff, The Dancing Partner

Why, I mean it!! *ALL SMILES HERE* I don't know if it is coincidental or whatever, but we are of in the same group and I don't have a match so we ended up together. I don't like it though. Oh, its not only because he is not a good dancer and so do I, but also because, I am not at ease with him compared to others, see? Oh, and it is so uncomfortable, especially we have to dance by pairs and everything! I don't knmow what to do. Anyway, could you tell me what a cha cha cha is?

All Alone In My Family World

Would you believe that? I don't know if I am the insecure or they are.. But I believe it is NOT me. I am not insecure, see? I know my weaknesses and I admit, I am insecure to THOSE people who are more intelligent than me, so why would I be insecure with my cousin? Or my nearly aged aunt and uncle? C'mon, thats fallacy!
But I can feel it. Like a girl alone in the midst of the rain, yeah I am. You know what? I think the only friends that were left for me were Joy, Jhan, and Joan. My dormmates. See, they are more concerned to me than anyone else in the world. Its like, we are compatible unlike my aunts and gay uncle who puts a grudge on me whereas I didn't do something. Or maybe I did something that didn't please them but, can we please everybody? And what is it that didn't please them? My intelligence? I think so, seeing my cousin hasn't achieved something as she was the shy type and she has brains but compared to me, it was nothing, then maybe then. Because she appeared the protagonist and me, antagonist. But its not fair. I am all alone. With my achievements and everything, still, I can;t feel someone so proud of me. Now, I am asking myself what should I do to make THEM proud of me. And for them to like me. I think no one likes me, hear it? NO ONE! Am I really not that likeable enough?Huhuhuhuhu.
I am not likeable and despite of my achievements, no one is proud of me. What should I do then? I feel all alone. How dare them leave to me like this! I hate them.

Oh. And one more thing. I really hate my cousin now. How dare her, to use my things without even asking permission to me. I know I am selfish sometimes, but then, I allow people to use my things, only and IF ONLY they ask from me. But you know what? THat cousin of mine, she is HORRIBLE! She doesn't even ask me, which is bad. She just use it as if it is hers. How dare her. But if I tell my feelings about it, her DEFENDORS would then say I am selfish. But ao what if I am, huh?

This Day Is My Day

Its interbranch already and you know, I didn't slept well the night before. I was restless and I just want to jump and jump and jump in order to take off the nervousness in me. But still, I am very nervous.Okay, so the morning came. As usual, I went to school early and I studied a bit. Hmn...But nothing came in to my mind. And then, my coaches gave me the possible questions and it relieved me from being zero.
As the contest started, I obsereved that there are only three of us, the other one coming from a small town(he is a boy) and the other came from a city too(she was a girl). All in all, there are just three contestants which means I'm gonna be the third if ever I am a goner.
And the Sci-Math Quiz officially started. For the easy round, we all got the same total score but for the average round, the other girl was down and only got 6 points while the boy and tied for 18 points. Boy, was I so elated that Im sure not to be the g0ner. For the difficult though, it was really difficult but still, I stood out to be the second so now, I have 75% discount for our next exam. Hahaha!!
And take note: that boy really made me bow to him, he is soooo smart in math and science and I like boys with brains like that. Only he is not so handsome-lloking hut he'll do fine.
I was also amused by him. Hehehe. When the quiz was finished, all we did with my teammates were eating and then, I was thirsty so I went to the water dispenser which is near him. Yes, I even don't know his name. Then, he bird-called someone and I thought he was calling his teammate before I realized that it was I whom he called. He called mne again and this time I turned to him and he smiled at me. Hahaha. And my teammates saw that and they were teasing me to him. As if! Well, he seem to be smiling to me all throughout the day. And he grinned at me when awarding came. Whatever....
Oh, so whaqt now? I think I have to go because I have to do my homework in hexrpg. No class tomorrow. So bye bye!

At Last!!!

Oh, guys..AM I SO HAPPY!!! Have ust inished my exam..although, to speak honestly, I had a difficulty in Mathematics. Yah..for the irst time in my last high school year!! Gosh, If you only know. Hehe. And know what our professor said about it? I'll qoute him: "If you only know, this is the easiest exam I have given to you." Oh c'mon!!!
And Im not sure about the other subjects..so there! For all I care. Tomorrow, I got a symposium o attend and the day after tomorrow itsa already he big day. OUr quiz!!!

I am gonna faint....

If The Feeling Is Gone

No, its not that I have no feeling for Geoff anymore but seeing as what he is doing now, it seems likely to forget him and move on. Like yesterday, I did tried my best to brush him off me. Ha! As if I cant. See?

Some So-Called Friends

Whew! SOme so-called friends. Well, there is one belief I was trying to absorb in myself now, which is: The thing you cannot stop form changing is the change itself. Well, Dude, one of my closest friend, was- I noticed, was changing. Oh, if you only know how much it hurt me. She was only Top 7 in our honor roll, but really, for me, it doesn't matter. We were still friends right? But right now..well..
Take this for instance. Dude has become a humbug now. Yeah..And it brings me to tears whenever I remember it. I don't know if the others realized it, but, seeing as I am the one in the group who always notices even the smallest things, well that's that.
Gosh, this is so painful. Like, she j\kept on talking that she didn't did well because she was absorbed by her extra curricular activities. And by the way she was talking! As if! An this day, she was like, abandoning us. Being by herself. I know she was hurting inside because of the hnor roll, and O am trying to understand. But is it right to leave me when she had already said she would come just because our adviser would treat them. Of course, I would be included if I want to, but I was hurt that she didn't even told me. How selfish of her! Oh well, I think I won't confront her but I'll just slowly drift away from them. It really hurts, see.

Friday Again

Its Friday again, and I am a bit hassled. You see, examinations are coming this Monday and Tuesday and our lessons are even more tougher than usual and I am cramming. And oh, have I told you that I was not allowed to join the Division Quizzes? I hate it.! Just when I am interested. But anyway, I already have my Interbranch and that's it.
So now, I am talking about my literature teacher. Well, she is really strict, and our own principal. Just then, she was absent yesterday and now, we went to the speech lab which is far from her cabin and we students were walking to go there when she suddenly called me and I thought she have something for me to be reprimand of. But then, she told me that she needed me to assist her cause she was having her leg pain and she can't walk if no one's assisteing her. Wow! Am I so proud! She has many favorites but I was so proud when she choose me among all of them! And she even called me at the end of the class to assist her. SEE?
And then, theres no other classes for us, so my classmates decided to be chil-like that time. They played something I don't know what is the name. And then, I was just there, strutting and distracting them. I even let them get mad at me. Hehehe. But the others thought it was fun! And then, I was passing by Joseph's group(remember him?). Well, he really- I thought he got rude- his face was \so near mine. But I didn't back off, though. Thats not the typical me. And then, he seem so rude but suddenly he tried to plant a kiss on me, althugh it landed on the air and he said "I love you, Happy". I think he was just joking..but still, I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe know. hahaha..For all I care anyway. But still, he seem does to like me.
And about Jewel. Oh, quite a few people now were noticing that he has a crush on me, but I think he is also not. We fancy bickering but only that.
ANd Geoff? I think I'm going to be "over him". Huh! I don't know and I still don't want to talk about it.

Reading Of Honors

Brrrrr...I am shaking with fear and nerousity. I know I am not going to make it to the Top 1, seeing that our "veterans"/ au fait have more advanced points than me. So, I am just hoping against hope that I will still belong in the Elite Four, thats what I call. Meaning, the Top 4. Or maybe, I am also hoping for the Magic 5. Whatever. As long as I belong to the top. ANd there is the teacher, talking rapidly about echus and certificate of- what? Oh, fine then.. So, this is it then. I belong to the Top 4. Hahaha!! At least, all that work paid off but I was trying to be more competitive this second quarter. Just hoping I'll get into the honors this coming graduation, I see. Hehe. So please congratulate me. I am happy.

1st Grading Report Card

Yah!! There!! Already got my card and I am itching to tell you this. Although I am a little bit dissappointed with my grades, I think it will do. Here, let me show you.

First Grading Grades:

1. Language-93
2. Literature-90
3. Mathematics-91
4. Physics-91
5. General Studies-91

See? That's not a bit satisfying for me. Anyway, that's score over 100 and I don't like it a bit. HUH! But...then..okay, it will do. Itching on waiting for the announcing of honors. Hehehe.But I'm not expecting big.

Quiz and Quiz and Quizzes. Boys Will Always Be Boys..SIGH!!!

Gosh, such a horrific week. Oh, uhuh yeah, I may be probably exaggerating. But yeah, it is. I hate it though. I'll not be able to enter the division test for sci-math fair because I have already this sci-math test for our interbranch brewing and it is in the same week on the same day. Huhhuhuhuhu. Although our Mathematics professor said that Interbranch is more apprpriate for me because it is regional level. Fine then, I'll take his word for that.
And boys. Oh boys.! Such a headache to a girl's head! Hehehe.. Well, there's Jewel again, haunting me. Oh, not that I like him..I mean, I didn't say that I don't like him. What I mean is..Oh c'mon please, I'll rephrase it again. I mean, he is not courting me, I have no fancy feelings for him, only that my friends were teasing me to him. Oh c'mon! How could two less same people be together? Haha.. As if they don't know that we always growl at each otherwhen we were together.
And there's Joseph. Oh, c'mon. Its as ig all guys were teased to me and as if they all like me. Come on! That's disgusting, do they know that? Oh, well..wish me luck please, cause or Interbranch quiz is moved this coming October 11. By the way, want to know my sched? Here it is:

• Release of Cards- Oct. 4
• Reading of Honors- Oct.5
• Interact Assembly (I will be at the main city!)- Oct. 6
• Exams (that's for two days)- Oct. 8 and 9
• Interbranch (Grrr...Im already scared)- Oct. 11

So, what are you waiting for?

Margaxina Noelle Rowland-Feathers/ Trampp

Ladies and gentlemen, children and parents, young and old alike, please meet her- Margaxina Noelle Rowland-Feathers/ Trampp, the hidden princess. Well, I really love this story, not because I was the one who made it, but because it is my secret dream. Honestly speaking guys, its as if my diary..but a diary of a person who is not be but I want to be. Yeah..right. I really want to be like her. Maybe thats also the thing why I am having confusions in the sequence ofte story, but well, fine for me. I am just strating yet, anyway. Oh, I hope you guys will be able to read it, I hope so. Because it will not only entertain you..I guarantee you that you will also get hidden messages from it between the lines. Yeah, right.

Now, Am I Really?

As if!! I was really disgusted, angry, furious, and anything you can name about a very strong emotion of dislike. I loathe them! They are calling me SELFISH, when they themselves were not that selfless enough to spare my things from their watching eyes! How dare them!!!
Oka, I think you have the right to know who I am talking about. My cousin, no other. My angel-like cousin who made me appear devil-like to everyone, and my sardonic insecure so-called friends that turned mtheir backs against me so that they can be fightingagainst me with..uh..HER.Well, I told you, I have read about this letter, my "friend" said toHer that I am selfish, arrogant and whatever hurtful things she may have in her mind. Okay, let me tell you, I may be selfish but that doesn't mean that they are also not. And if I am that selfish, would I not understand my parents? OUr lack of money? Because if it is fiunancial care I am looking for, I am a one goodamn hell to be the one who has the rights to ask for lots of money, because of my brain and anything. But the question is, DID I? NO. Because I don't want all to herself. Unlike her, who would just kill to have what she wanted..and what is not ought to be hers.
I think it is just normal for a certain person to not SHARE all of their belongings to someone. WEll, thats what I am. I don't like it when someone is using my bigbrush for make-up, especially if she didn't ask me to use it. And how dare that cousin of mine, she used it in front of me, without my consent. Tchah! And you know what? HER Friend said that she is pretty, so if she wants to be pretty enough, then she'll have to use make-up. Oh, I don't care how pretty will she looik, as long as she keep her hands off my make-up kit and bigbrush. But she did not. And I saw her last night, an I want to yell at her.
I love HArry Potter very much, that I have a barpin on my idOne time I had it and it broke, I really got upset. But of course, it was replaced by a new one. Know what She did? She took it on my ID WITHOUT my permission!! And who is selfish with that attitude? She only laughed when I confronted her about it.
That evil woman!!! I wanna wring her neck, you know. Appearing to be an angel whilst she is a demon herself. I hate her! I jhate it when someone is playing the angel when she is a devil, I hate it when someone's using my things without my permission, I hate it when someone's insecure with me. Of course, I knew it from the start.JUst because I got the brains and the beauty and the confidence, she would be just like that? How dare her!! I hate her for it. And oh, I forgot, I also hate imitators. Imitating what would have I done with my hair and my face, so that she could be pretty. To hell with her!!!
*DEEP SIGH*Okay..I'll calm down. Think I have to study in our exams. Oh, honestly, I don;'t care if she'll vbe prettier than me, to hell with it. Blasted idea. All I want is to be intelligent. Just want that I have brainsd while I go my way. Okay.
*SMILE*See ya! Think I have to do a litlle study. And oh, please wait for the time I introduce you well to Margaxina Noelle Rowland-Feathers/Trampp. My new baby. But I'll do it formally, sooner or later, okay?BYE!!!!...Just for now, of course, honey...

Family Day

You see, I have no family roaming around here in the city because oh of course you know.and well then, i invited my two younger sisters to come over but only my middle sister was able to go with me to school so we joined the obstacle race. Oh, im ot in mood today, you see...

Boys, Boys, Boys. *SIGH*

UHmn..Well..I just thought this is a bad day for me..Yah, right. A bit. Or shall we say, a bit more? And a bit more, rather....
So now. This is it. I'll begin at the morning 'till the afternoon. Its not what we call a bad hair day but this is one of my WORST DAYS! SOSOSOSOSO damned jinxed day..
Now, this morning I went to school pretty okay. I was a bit in the modd, and there I am, studying this Chemistry portfolio for our Interbranch. (Hope you still remember our Interbranch)> So, that's it. As usual, I am the first person to reach our room. Next is Geoff. And we were kind of alone thi moments of time again...so..well, he didn't dare speak to me, seeing that I am busy and I pretended not to notice him, I won't be the one to speak to him first anyway, if it is not that important. Don't want him to think that I was just setting for a cutsie on him. Huh.
And then, there's the first cue. At our first subject which is Physics, our teacher told me that our Literature proffessor won't be teaching us anymore, seeing that we are that bad enough for her and she can't handle us anymore. So that's it. And or adviser even cried when she remembered an accusssation to her..I also cried myself.
Second, I was being reprimanded by our language techer because she made me in charge of the photocopying of our materials and it was not my fault anyway, but my classmates, coz they didn't handle their money to me until monday morning. I was really like having most of the times cry this day.
And in our economics, I was ttouched by our teacher when she told us that she loved us. Gosh..Geeee..So touching and I cried with my other friend, too.
But this afternoon, it was such a bummer. In our Mathematics quiz, I was only 88 and our teacher in PE told us that he will give us our final grade that he will put in our report car and know what my grade is? also 88! I am damned devastated!
Oh, well..And about boys...
Geoff and i, well..its as if we are ot noticing each other though I know that he wants to talk to me, and it was just something was holding him back. OH, well, I will just wait for his move. It won't come to me, anyway. And remember Joseph??Well, well, well, I do feel or let's say, just sensed something. I really think he likes me, but I am not sure though. Oh c'mon..And I say Archie, if you remember,. the one I was so crazy about in the past? Well, just saw him, and it was nothing to me. And hey, the one i got a crush in our dormitory..!!Hehe..He greeted me again. And i don't know why. We were not even acquainted!oh, goshh... Well, Im preparing for our interbranch, lots of memorizing to do. So babye!!
"Happy es una chica preciosa"- Thats what my spanish friend told me. And my, I'm so flattered.
Anyway, just want to give you another update, I was starting again a new local novel.I don't know what's the title yet, but I think it is good.

Bad, Bad Day

It was really a bad hair day for me. Had lots of project, and I end up not making the best of it. And to think that I did swear to be a good student this second quarter. Oh, how foolish am I....
This morning, I crammed to do my project. I was a bit disheveled, to be honest. And then, I ended up making it the worst project ever...Oh, how thick am I? And then, after our morning class and I went back to dormitory, I found something.....
It was a letter, by my friend to my cousin. So, that's it. The reason why she was acting cold towards me. Cause I am selfish and Untidy and Hard-headed gal. Hah! As if I am..Oh, you should read "Jacob How I Love" And I say I would be the protagonist there..If given the chance. As if I don't listen to them if they say something. ANd do they know that I am selfless as they are?If they only knew how much sacrifice I am dping for my friends and family. HaH!As if..
And always the saint cousin of mine..But do they know what she does when they're gone?Huh!!! Whatever..
Anyway, and then, it really upset me, you know, even if I tried not to think about it. And so, at school, even if we have no classes and my classmates just talked and talked, well, I am off in a corner and just reading my book. Well, I really have to study though, for our Interbrach, that's why.
*Sigh*Oh life...

Math Quiz

Hahaha!!! For sure, (I'll keep my fingers crossed *grin*) its gonna be perfect. But I don't want to keep my hopes too high, though. Oh, and it is such a very busy week- too many projects, hehe...Yeah, have two projects for opur values, one for our language, and another for our economics so as for our Physics. Oh, gosh..such a tiring day...

What's Wrong?

Uhumn...Yeah...Think something's wrong with me. Must be cause Geoff seemed to neglect me? Or must be cause I am trying to be a rebel to Geoff's uhmn..let's say, because I thought he has another girl, well, I'm not so sure about it. Anyway, before I become too touchy-icky with that "love thing", I just want to lament about my grades... We had a quiz in our Physics and..huhuhu..I think I had made it all wrong. It's better luck next time. That's why I'll REALLY try and study our another quiza for tomorrow which is our Economics. And oh, yah..I think it is really a bad day, because our discussion didn't go well. Oh..Such a blunder, I think.
But our Mathematics went awell. Not so well, cause one of our newly discovered classmate is striking aghain, and I think I was not our teacher's favorite anymore. Oh, whatever, for all I care. As long as it is me whose going to battle for the Interbranch, everything's gonna be okay. And I have to study Algebra and Trigonometry, for Christ's sake!
Okay. About that love thing. I don't know if I really had just an ESP (Extra Sensory Power) like what my friends says, but..really, I can feel something. Uhmn...my classmate for years.. Yeah, its about Joseph and Jewell. They were both boys, okay? And they have the different story but like they had the same thought, I think.
But nononono...I think uhmn...I don't meant to be conceited but I think they both has a little affection for me((OOOOWSSSS??!!)).Yah..That's what I think, because they seem to be sweeter than any guys of the room was, or am I just paranoid?
And then there's other guy in our dormitory who keeps taunting me but hours ago, he was watching me, oh, staring is the right term and I think I was like feeling like a little liking hikm too.Ha! Come on! How about Geoff?
Something's just wrong...

Monday..Again

Oh..a veeeeryy cramming Monday for me. I went to school with an unsure assignment/project and I went to school with no assignment in physics. Oh..! Too dissappointing. And so, I end up with wrong assignments, I think. And what's more, our Language teacher seemed to be..oh, more than usual. You know, she was more meticulous than ever!
But that bad experience was ultimately covered after I have taken my snack. WEll, there's this Sci-Math Quiz for the school interbranch and we took the elimination for science last week and I was kinda daydreaming about entering it all the time and guess guys?I'm gonna be the representative for our school. Gosh!! Am I so pleased.....
I don't want to spare anything from you the detail about it. WEll in Science, I was only second and also in Math but when our teachers got our average, I was the highest, so THERE! I was in.
Gosh..It was such an honor to represent our school. Yah, right.
And what's more, Geoff was like..he asked me if I kept the flower. WEll, I didn't answer him straight., Don't want him to know that I KEPT it. Hehehe/.
Only thing that bugs me this afternoon is our P.E teacher who keeps talking about b"Byes" that i thought at first was a food. Oh c'mon!!!