Honesty

Our topic in values a while ago is about HONESTY. So, our teacher asked us to say to the class the dishonesty we did in the past..or until now. Hahaha. Some were a pity, like spending their allowance for the internet (which I did sometime until now), cheating on the exam and anything. Others were funny, like my gay classmate making our other classmate his textmate and then they sort of, well, they were "ON" without the knwing of the boy that he was a gay! Hahaha..That was a hilarious time we had....

But, the time went for me(which is so so so veeeeryyyy a long wait) and I was then asked. I could think of notyhing for the moment because our teacher said that it would have to be outside of the family. So, I chose the friend matter. I thought I have really moved on on it, but..well, I cried. I haven't even finish what I wanted to say. This is my starting line:
"I lied to myself..and to others. I lied to myself, keeping myself believe that other people doesn't like me but I imposed myself on them..and I lied to them..that.."
Just like that and I went on to cry. Lucky there are others who were good enough to let me lean on them and our teacher was so kind enough not to impose what she wanted to do at the time. I mean, she didn't impose hearing on the tale. But I know she would like to hear about it, sooner or later, but of course, exclusively and only extended to her.

So that's it. But I want to finish what I wanted to say at that time. I wanted to say: "I lied to myself and to other people. I lied to myself, still believing that they like me even if they don't. And I lied to them, letting them believe that I don't know anything about it but I do. And so, I am torturing them by still imposing myself on them." That is what I wanted to say to them, only that I haven't finished it because I cried..and now I realize that it still hurts and I don't wanna talk about it. Well..I also mean those words as sorry..but no..I only made myself sorry.

About Honesty. I just hope that you girls like me must be honest, no matter what are the consequences. You have to face it. Because if you are not honest, there are more lethal choices. I just hope that I have done it earlier. Well, I believe it is not too late for you. And remember, to be honest most of the time, you should be honest to yourself first.