A College!

I am now a college! I maybe late in logging on and posting my life as a college, but well..it is always better to be late than never. Hahaha. Thinking of it deeply, I just can't believe that I am already a college.

I have my new galsses, and I have told you that already. I am so open to all new things, that post graduation, my family and I went to my new school to survey it to see what it really looks like,. It is not just a simple plain school, it is a campus. It has its own stores, inside dorms, digital librearies..its just..fantastic, because it is more modern than the school I went to in high school. So, I am going in that State-University now, and I am inside in the prospect. Hahahaha.

I gotta go now, because I have to search for the school's schedule, and watch American Idol in the computer. Ba-bye!

P.S. My Mom has just gone away again now..from here to abroad. Gosh.. I just hope that she would always be fine, just like Father and my sisters and the others. Well, goodbye now, really.

Eyeglasses

Now, I am wearing eyeglasses. You know why? Because I have been complaining aout my eye since then. I didn't know though that it was that serious. Gosh....If only I have known, then wuld have rushed to the nearest optical clinic immediately. But then, I didn't know anything about it until now. So... Thats it.

I wore glasses now, as if care that much about lookd.s. I dont. But I am a bit uncomfortale at first in terms of doing the cmputer, texting and etchetera. Duh...

Okay. Enough of that. I will be talking aout second matter now. My yearbook.

Gosh! Mther gave me money to pay for the yearbook and full, but then, I spent the money unknowingly, and now was problematic of how to solve my problem. Gosh.. WHat shall I do? a so problemtaic now...

And am wishing right this moment and for the past few days since have since Julius that he will ask me out. Just like a friendly date, anyway. Would that be great? I hope so... I m not givng up yet..

And lastly our graduation. Its gonna be tomorrow, and its like..weird. Everytime I think of it, was having gosebumps. It was like, i want to graduate but I dn't want to. Oh, whatever. Well, que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be.

A Long Time Ago...

Precisely. It is not in a figurative form, but literal form. It was a long long long time ago. Uhmn..Have I told you that once upon a time my family was rich and influentiaL? Yap. And I have this..Uhmn.. Childhood crush. It seems like he was my first? or second? crush. Duh..Whatever. Thing is, I was nuts over him then. But I have the rights so, because he is so handsome then, that time. Really, yah, I am not joking.

So thats it. Father wants me to meet them again. Uh no.. Particularly, Uncle Romeo, my father's close friend. But..we haven't seen each other for almost a decade. Yeah, right. So thats it. I have been dreading when Uncle Romeo said that we will meet at his house, therefore his family is there..

But what truly I am dreading is the part of his son. He is named Julius. He is my crush, childhood crush and I haven't seen them ever since th tradegy in our family happened.

Okay. SO thats it. I was dreading if he was just like..you know, in the past. Because we were friends, good friends. And I was saying to myself, what if he changed? Like, is he a drug user now? Haha. Yah..really insane/. Or I was going on like...Has he turned so bad now..? Duh. WHatever. But yes, I am so expecting for the worst.

But what I saw was very different. He is still soft-spoken, but he is not that handsome now. Well..so? Its just becaus eof his pimples. DUh.. I mean, he is still handsome, blotched only by pimples. ANd gosh! He still remembered me. I cannot imagine it., I mean, it was like, we were good friends but not that really close so what happened? He really knows me that much, and I an so overwhelmed. GOsh/..

WEll, all in all it was nice and Julius was still ever ever nice. Bye!

Near Near Near

Last night, I had my tantrums. Itrs because they all went to the city while I am stuck in school, practicing for our graduation. Oh, anyway, when I said "They", I meant my mother and my sisterd. Hmp!So thats it. I was so stucked in this boring place while all of them were having fun.

And I also have this one problem right now: I don't know how to edit our family picture. You know, for our yearbook. Aaaaaarghhh!! WHatever! I hate it./ Maybe once again, I have to go to a studio. Duh...Whatever. Hmph! Unlucky.

Okay. And what pissed me off yesterday was the fact that I told Mother to buy me a book but no one bought me something. Goodness!

Duh>>>>>>>>

Hello!!!

I am so very sorry that for the past few days (especially the last post I made) I made my blog so..neglected. No, I don't want it to be, okay? So..Here I am, sincerely taking things seriously for my only one best friend in the world- my blog.

Okay, so? What is happening to me now? Well, I just realized that I was not born with luck (OH!), but I was born with God's guidance and blessings. Yeah, you heard it right. Luck is just an assisting..assistant? Hahaha. Well, yeah, anyway, it is true.I realized that this morning. Anyway, I have so lots to tell I do not know if I will be able to make it from the very start to the very end in a very neat way.

Okay. First, my Mother came back home now for graduation. You see, the last time she was here in France, we have had a fight. Yes, the last day she ought to be staying here. So..uhmn.,..I want to make amends. So, naturally, I acted as the good daughter. Of course, it was never really easy, seeing as I was at ease on being just with myself, no one to scold me and notice things that I do. In short, I was once free. But uh-oh, never mind. I tried hard enough. So right now..there were no any..uhmn..break-outs. Thats lucky.

So..I also saw the movie..uhmn..Freaky Friday. I realy love it. Love that movie. And you know what? I want that thing to happen to me too so that my Mum will be able to understand me better on why we are so..different.

Okay. Now, also our graduation. It is nearing and i have turned to become afraid pf the future. You know what? I have also doubts on attending this school, so faraway from home, but I want it too at the same time. Well, duh.. WHy won't I just give it a try anyway? Right?

Mwah!

And She Is Back!

My mother is home! Mymother is home. And I cannot believe it.Its because I missed her so much.

And my sisters also graduated in elementary level. I am so happy for them. The youngest is valedictorian and the other one is with merits. I am so happy, happy happy. During the speech, my sister cried, and mother was not there yet because her flight has been delayed. Poor baby... Hehehehe

So, my Mere was thereby afternoon because my sisters' graduation was morning.

And the best part: I got mynew cellphone. A Nokia N72. Yehey!! JEjejejeje

Angry, oh so Angry

Yes, right now THIS VERY MOMENT, I am so angry because someone asked for my thing but didn't returned it to me in duie time. Right now, my MP4 is in my classmates house, and I don't know if that classmate of mine has plans to keep her word that she will return it by morning. Or midday.

I really have to go home, to my country home now because tomorrow is my sisters' graduation and I am their escort. And I have to go home..NOW!

Anyway, what is my point is that, I am proud of myself this day. You know why? Because even if I am very angry that I wanted to whack the things around, I didn't. I learned to control myself now. And I didn't cursed. Yes, I swear and now I love myself!

Take note: I love myself even before but I love myself more now.

Canot Believe It

Just a while ago, just a while ago.

I cannot really believe it!!!

Just a while ago, as I was going here in the internet cafe, I met Archie. Oh, he was still ever handsome, only that he has gone fat, but all the same, the same guy I have loved for many years.

Gosh....!

Oh, you might say it is just an infatuation, or obsession. Maybe it is but I will still likely to call it a puppy love because puppy love has a deeper meaning.

I have been inlove with him since first year hgh school, and now.. I don't know maybe its gone. I was just surprised to see him again. And I can still remember those moments we have. Of courtse, we have never been "officialy on" but we have some kind of mutual understanding. And oh, I don't know but everytime I see him I will always be taken up by surprise. Like.. I have just seen Prince William. Hahahaha!

For What Is Yours

I believe that what is really set out for you will be yours. And that will only happen if it is for you and only YOU. Because no matter what your system is in getting it, it won't work as long as it is not for you. That is how destiny works, too.

Oh, they are all interconnected. Its just like..how could you get this thing if you are not destined to it? Whatever. Take for example this girl that is deaf, and can only understand you through lip-reading. She is pretty, and also smart. She joined a beauty pageant. It was just like...perfect. Then came the question and answer portion. Her answer was very sure and she was confident and just like a normal person but here comes the buzzer that cannot be lip-read, and so, she went overdue of the time, and was only made as first runner-up. What a pity. She could have just won, had she only heard the buzzer. And the judges cannot make considerations just because she is deaf, because it was not a beauty pageant for deaf. So, she just contented herself the red ribbon.

If you have seen Ice Princess, it was also a pity, because she has the talent, and a very good performance and was only mistaken just because her mother didn't arrived to watch her perform. So, she setted for the silver cup, the judges didn't made considerations.

Why I am writing this? Well, I just felt of kinda, sharing to you what life is all about. Because I noticed that there were people who likes the phrase, "By hook or by crook" which is not very good. Because it is like, implying that you must get the thing that you must not have. It is bad because it is not right. So, I just wanted to advice you readers even though you are not asking for one that you should wait on things, you must not force the things to come to you because if it is for you, then it will be, but you must also work a little but not that much.

Got it?

I hope you did because it is a sensible topic for me, and I hope you really do get it, just to eliminate villain people in the world who get things not for them their own way.

Just A Duchess

In my latest blog, I talked about being a princess for being the third-in-line for the throne. So, that means that I still belong to a princess' circle. Huhuhuhu. I am now only a duchess.

Well, as our consistent top one our batch was unsatisfied when she took the salutatorian place the final markings, all the grades were again calculated up and then...here is the result.

So, now, I am not the first hnrable mention, just the second honorable mention, and our former valedictorian is now a salutatorian. And me? Switched with the first honorable now.

Oh, I have never felt offense about it because all from the start, I knwo its coming, so that is just it, and I cannot do anything about it.

Uh-oh. I have a very busy days to come this end of the month and beginning of the next month. Kudo.. As if I care. I know I can manage it.

First Honorable Mention

Its like, you know, a king, then queen, prince and princesses. Or maybe, in-line for throne. Soemthing like that. And if it is something royalty, maybe I am the princess, because I am the third-in-line for throne (Or second, if the valedictorian is not counted). I felt so much happy that I was able to be the 1st hHonorable Mention of our class Batch 2007-2008. Boy! Was I so happy about it.

I was nervous when our teachers told us that the announcement of honors will begin because I was doubting whether I would be able to make it or not,but of course, I have alreday told myself that no matter what happened, I will think of myself as the best.

So? Yes, I maybe just a First Honorable Mention Graduate and you might not think that of me as the best, but so what? At least, I believe in myself that I am one of the best. Its ot on what you have achieved lately, anyway, but on what you believe in and how you act too.

Who Is? (I have already decided)

Last night, it was one of my friend's birthday. He is a boy, actually, and the Setter in our class. Well, lets call him Setter. Okay, so he invited the whole volleyball team in our class, and four girls only- which was comprised of me, my two friends and another one who is the girl friend of Giant. We have fun. Really. And you should have seen their house, it is soooo big, mansion-like, but not that much. And I like their house's architecture. So regal, the kind of house I want for the future though mine is more elegant. Okay, okay. Back to our main topic, Setter's birthday. My friends and I were the early ones on his party, so there. We are the three roses among the many thorns. Thats after Giant's gf arrived. Him and her you know.

But before that, we chatted at his house, playing online games and etc etc. But then, after eating, one of our friends started saying we should play truth or truth (instead of truth or consequence). So, we played. Morty was there, and he evn took the next seat from mine, seeing that we were friends. We really were, and until now! Many people were asked and many questions were asked. All ahve answered the truth, I think. Okay..So, this. I have asked some questions, like, if I still loved Geoff. Of course, the answer was a very big NO! which is the truth.

The next question thrown to me was something..too personal. They asked me who in our batch I would have a crush then IF ever. I answered- rather hesitantly- Morty. Gosh!!! And to think he was sitting next to me! Can you just imagine it...

Then, they asked him if ever there will be a chance he would court me. Know what was his answer? He will, if he had no girlfriend. But of course, I just thought he was just polite or something...

Just this day, I was asked my Jewel if who should I choose: Morty or Geoff? It didn't took me enough time to answer because as the words were forming out of his mouth, I already knew the answer. I'll choose Morty. Not that because he was more handsome, but because I was already pissed off by Geoff and enough is ENOUGH!

Coming nearer...

The beginning of an end.

I like this sentence. Its just like, I am beginning an end by ending another chapter of my life, and strating something new. Like, its Chapter Three now, huller? Just like that. Gosh, I am so excited...! But then, I think I have to feel fear because almost everyone in our batch felt that thing. But the thing is, I didn't feel any fear that I am going toi a very far away university, as long as my college life is secured.

Oh. And I just remembered Mother, my Maman. She is coming back! Because she wants to attend our graduation. My sisters were graduating ( the two of them) from primary school, and I, in high school. I mean, gosh. I am not getting any younger but older and so, I have to be matured.

Right now, I know the responsibility as the elder sister and what it is to me. I love my parents. I love Mama and Papa. I love my sisters. And I don't want them to suffer, so, I will do all the best I can to maintain my grtades and to graduate in college to, to face my real life. Oh, gosh. This is it!~ Another sign of maturity. Hahahay!

Got It!

I was so very glad. I made one of my consequence put to test.

I was very impatient with my university results, it took so long. So, naturally, I put one of my antics- another consequence. I told my friend and myself that if the letter would not come this week- and that is, until Friday- I would not proceed to study in that university. But if it will, then I'll be able to know on what to do.

And the letter came by Tuesday. Our principal brought it herself, saying that she have good news for me and my friend who took also the exam. Our principal gave the result to me and I was so shocked to see that there was a written "scholar" there. I really gaped, and the thought that I didn't even sat on my chair. Our principal was amused with my reaction. But who wouldn't? I got a scholarship- no fees for everything.

Gosh. Was I so glad. And I really thanked God for it. Because he gave me blessings that is so very very important to me. Lord God, I thank you very much. You really are the best(which I know before).

Infatuated Again

Uhmn...Can't say that again. But I wanted to. See, I have fall for many times and hurt too. I have been obssesed for many times, and been hurted which is so bad that can give me trauma. But, theres this guy again, in the name of MAc. He is new in our dormitory. And I have just actually met him maybe..uhmn, just this year. January, I mean.

I believe that MAc is the man most suitable for me. He was nearly perfect for my dream and perfect man. Look at this: he is handsome, no not that handsome, but good-looking. He is also smart. I really like him. He doesn't smoke, and he doesn't even drink even a teeny little bit of alcohol. And MAc is just so charming!My ideal man.He is a loyalist, too. I mean, he doesn't want to cheat in his gf whenever he has one.

But there is one thing I might not seem to like in him. He is very fond of pretty girls. Huhuhuhu. But that, I think, is just his only flaw I don't like. yes, he cuss, but thats okay. His fond for pretty girls was the only problem.

One day, I went to the dormitory late. I was just so..uhmn..tickled and happy about what he does. He was on the dormitory door, talking to someone else, when he saw me. He pinched my arm and called me, "Happy.." Oh, man! Was I so glad!

This is the only thing i can say.I don't like him that much to the point that I am obssesed. But, the more that i got to know him, the more I like him. He is my perfect man I am looking for long.

The Recollection Day

Many said that the recollection day will make you cry. Many said that many students have gone emotional in that day, especially if you will listen well and out everything into your heart..

First things first in the morning, I was doubting whether what should I act whenever the reconciliation time will come. Of course, everyone knows about the fight we have (my so-called best friends) and many have attempted to push us to be friends again. But, as the "me", I didn't put up to reconciliate with them and that bothers me and what to do at the reconciliation day.

So, there. I reconciliate with someone. Well, i apologized to the one who irritated me most, the one who called me "best". I ask for forgiveness. Then, I just don't know it, Dude and the others were coming to me, crying and saying sorry. Well, I acted without a plan, I did go on with the flow. I accepted what they have been offering to me.

Then, they talked to me after the reconciliation. There, we were enlightened, and understood each other that we just misunderstood each other. In an instant, like nothing happened, we were back to being friends again, where in fact, it took us four months to go on the cold war of ours.

So, there. Just in one zap we were friends again. But, we also got many teasing from our classmatyes and the others. Maybe they were really happy too that at last, we were reunited after four months. They have been trying us to make amends with no avail and maybe that was a 'time' for them.

I am so very happy.

P.E. Day

Morning. I am so so so so...bad. I felt lousy and I felt super-badly. HUhuhuhuhu. Because our P.E day's firat event was the volleyball. I hope you know guys how to play volleyball and at least you know almost all of the sports so that you won't feel lousy and loser just in case.

I played volleyball for the morning event. Of course, I cannot say that I am so good at it, because I am more comfortable with home rooms. Well, our team, the senior team, was competing against the Juniors. They were our target enemy, something like that. But then, we lost against them. Our batch was not that sporty and even though our boys really love volleyball, and we also know about its rules, we never came to like it that much. So there, we lost for the women's division but at least, the boys winned alright.

The only thing that made me felt so troubled was that, the last score of the opposing team was made by me.Its like..I wasn't able to get back the ball to the other side of the court. And because of that, I blew our chances.

Although my friends didn't blame me because all of us were to be blamed, I still felt bad. And most of us girls swore a revenge by afternoon's activity.

I joined the tug-of-war. Huh! And as if, we really were serious that time. We really mopped the Juniors on the floor! Tchah! Poor babies!!

So, by the afternoon, we have compensated enough scores to be on edge with the others. I may be a little bit devilish this time by swearing revenge against them, but hey- its competition. Whats the truth is, we truly ROCKS!

Semi-finals Finished

I felt really bad. But not that bad- snap! But still, I felt bad. Whatever. I mean, its just that our professor included business math in our mathematics exam which I was so very bad at. Yes, I am so good in algebra and trigonometry but not business math, for goodness sake! So, thats it. The last part of our exam is about business math and I blew it off because i forgot the latest procedure. Huhuhuhu.

Well, I felt a little okay now ut not that okay. Duh...So what? As long as I'll be out of high scool then that would be fine for me.

And oh-there's this other thing that is a bit bugging my mind. I mean, its still part of our graduation rites, traditional you know. The recollection. it would be on Friday and I am not eager about it. But others were eager because they said that its time that our friendship reunites again. Sorry but no, I don't think so. Dhhhhh..

Lost O'Lost

List of what I have lost for this week:

1. My RRJ Pants
2. My Titus Ballpen color black
3. A Pocketbook I borrowed
4. My Calculator, precious, oh'so precious calculator

See, I have been some kind of a clumsy, forgetful girl this week. I have lost those important things just for ONE week. Gosh. This RRJ pants, I know mother would kill me if she will find out that I have lost it. It cost that much, you know. And this Titus ballpen, I believe that it is one of the factors of my lucky charm, and now its gone. I cannot believe and I cannot figure out how I lost it. And so are the pocketbooks. But I guess its in the care of one of my friends. Oh, I hope so. And the last one, the most important of all, my caluclator. I really cried and panicked when I learned that it was gone. Luckily, someone just borrowed it from me without my permission. But at least.

Sigh. I promise I would take good care of my things again that no one will be able to touch.

At Last!

I don't want to say much. But I am very much happy to announce this: at last, I have found a new idea for my upcoming book. At last at last.. I have been dreaming of this book for two years. Two summers ago. And this time, I found some ideas that were relevant and good. I cannot tell you about the characters though, not that I am afraid of someone plagiarizing it, as if it has to be plagiarized. No. I just won't tell for some other reasons. But I am just so very very happy that I found this idea.

I just hope that next time I browse my search engine, those words I have put in it will appear.

Wish me luck.

Journal?!

Our teacher wants a journal, our everyday experiences made for her to read! Can't you believe that?! Well, yes, I know that this will come to our subject, but I just can't believe that it is true. Gosh! What am I supposed to do now? I mean, I don't want others to read my thoughts, my everyday experiences. And as a writer, I should know better if I have to tell the truth in what I will write, because that what are the writers for. I mean, yes, we write fiction, but when it has to say a journal, it means that it is your day-to-day account. Yours, and nobody else. So, out, out. Lets make the "making up" thing out of the line. But what shall I do?

Uhmn...I am running out of ideas. Why don't you help me? As if someone's reading this, hahahaha. Well, I think I am making fun of myself, but its okay. Kudos here. What does kudo mean anyway? Whatever. Oh, our exam is coming this Monday, and I have studied a little. I just hope that my exams will go well. PLease, I hope so, oh dear God.

Uhmn...About this dormitory thing. I have been not staying in my own room now for almost three weeks, I believe. I didn't even slept there anymore. Well, I don't want to blame my aunt and my cousin, but they were the reason anyway. I don't want to talk about them. But remembering what I did a while ago, I have to talk about it.

Yes, I am not sleeping there, but my things were still there. I have been sleeping in another friend's room. SHe is okay with it. But my things were left in that room. Thing is, thery locked the room, and I wanted to take a bath. So, I destroyed the lock. Hehehe. Well, I know they were angry about it, but for all I care. Its their fault anyway that they didn't gave me the key first. I don't know if they really wanted to do it- to not to inform me. But anyway, I am not that evil, I am planning to mend what I have broken. Hehehe.

Exam. Semi-finals. At last. I can feel the scent of graduation. Well well well. So what now? I think I have to study now. Bye!

And Once Again

Yes! Once again, I took the blue ribbon. Only that this time, I have somebody to share. Okay, we are four in the goroup but who cares? It only seems like everything was my idea and they only helped me with the labor. Oh, bo-hoo. No matter what, the thing that matters is th eblue ribbon and that I didn't dissappoint them.

I don't know. It seems that this year, its my time to be a winner. Uhmn, no boasting here, but I really do believe that this is a good start. Although I am not having a good time in my socialization -but hey! This time I am already improving regarding it, too- but I was having a very very good time in my career. Well, look at that Interbranch thing. I got the first place. Then the Ms. Scholarship. And now this. I don't know if I am lucky or whatsoever but one thing is for certain, I am doing good this year.

And there is one thing I am happy about. I think I am getting matured. Uh-uh. Yes, I may look matured to others but I am emotionally not mature. I even have some emotional problems. I have some problems regarding socialization and putting up relationship with others. But hey hey hey- I am so happy now because I think I am improving like what I have said earlier. Maybe I would be completely mature emotionally by the time I reach college. Would that be good?

Busy As A Bee

I can say that right now, I really am. Not that I have too much work to do, only that I came from work. I mean, being from Interbranch essay wrting to promenade, its like a very very hard work for me. Especially that I am assigned on the hardest work ever- the table set-up.

Last year, and last last year, we, our batch, led by me, was the defending champion in table set-up. That means that no one had ever beat us since its just two years from now that the table set-up is put up. And I am just so proud that every idea/ motiff was mine.

So now, I am so very busy putting things up. but hey- it didn't stop me from playing RF, a new game that has tempted me into gaming. Well, my byo classmates/ friends cajoled me to try that game so, here I am, signing up for level-up. haha. Funny. I always told them that what they were doing was bad, you know, cutting classes just for this but I do not know what would I become in the near future now that I am going to try this game.

Now, I have to research for any ideas about table set-up again and Ihave to play Rf online now. Ba bye.

Mysterious?

"I don't know if they are just behaved, dirty, or whatever.." That came from someone during the promenade. And my name is included in that list. Am I really mysterious? I belive and with full conviction, I am not. I am not mysterious. Or am I? Because me myself has also been confused as to whether I am or I am not. Whatever.

I don't want to be associated to as a cold person because I believe that I am not.

Junior-Senior Promenade

Sure, I am already a Senior, and a graduating student. And I am so excited about it. It would be just-what?- weeks away and I'll be out of school. I mean, out of hgh school and then I'll be going into a university!! I am so very much excited at the prospect.

So...there came the promenade. Uhmn, well, it turns out to be okay, with me as the Muse of Scholarship. f course, all Senior Girls wore blue gown and so, I wore an aqua blue halter gown. They said I look princess-ish, but of course, I am not. So, thats it. My prom turned okay.

Our prom is unlike the other prom, though, We didn't take anyone we liked, we were forced to partner to the Juniors, just as the tradition. But no matter what, I really have fun.

Intebranch Expression Skills (Part Two)

Uhuhhuhuhmn... Well, good day. Six days of no internet! Such a record. Anyway,..uhmn... Expression skills, yeah. We have a very bad start. It is said that we must arrive in school before five a.m. because the venue is in far far away. But, since the college students arrived by six am, our branch director really got furious and she was very angry that we almost did not made it. And hey- all of us in the car got a motion sickness- like I am not a travel girl- and I haven't eaten my breakfast. By the time we arrived there, the program has already started.

Just as it is not enough, I relaxed a little and truied to ate., But the even for essay writing strated already so- I only ate so very very little bit of food. I started the writing.

I have studied many topics, current issues, terrorism and almost everything. But we-my coach and I- neglected the cyber education, because we thought that that is not so important. Turns out that cyber education is the topic. Lucky that I remembered something about it. And I was just so very lucky that I love internet.

So thats it. Our spelling event was of course, as usual, was the grandmaster of the year. Our dancesport was just perfect but a little complications in drama. About my writing, I felt that used enough words to amaze the judges and I have this feeling that I will win butI didn't told anyone in case I don't. And there came the awarding....

I was very very nervous. When my name was not yet said, I was very nervous. But then, it turns out that I won!! Gosh. This is a very unexplainable feeling but I felt so proud that I won. Swear, I am really and until now. We all got first for three events and the fourth, which has the complications only got third. But all in all, we are the over-all champion. And we are so happy.

We just came from our blow-out anyway.

Bye-bye, Gotta be ready for prom this afternoon.

Valentines Day

Sad, oh sad Valentines....

After all, Valentines isn't about love. As always. It is also about sadness. Why? Because St. Valentine died in this day, thats why. So, theres no need to be so sad about being sad and loveless in the day of Valentine. Its normal. Maybe, I am one of those people to be sacrificed on why St. Valentine died. Hehe.

Hmn. I have been neglecting my blog for what-?I dunno. Lost account of it. Anyway, its because my life is uneventful these days, so I am not in the mood. uhmn...Have I told you that I am going to be the representative of our school for an interbranch (AGAIN!) but this time, I am going to represent for the Essay Writing contest. Well, I was actually auditioning for the dframatic dialouge but then, we are all required to audition for the Essay writing because it is a part of our grade so..There! I cannot even believe it, gosh! I mean, I thought that I was wrting nonsense stuff that time because I am not in the mood. Come on.!

Okay. So, I have nothing to think by this time and nothing to write so, I gotta go and finish my certified classmates' post. Bye-bye.

Compilation For last Week

New Friend

Today, despite the many discripancies, I found a new friend. He is a bit gay, but all fine to me. I mean, we really got along, we have this common likes and has the same drive. He is more concerned on being happy than to be concerned on boys stuff which made us compatible.There is one thing, though. First, I am not his original friend. It looks like I am stealing him from his original friends which is also a friend of mine. And, come to think of it, our pair-up and friendship is too perfect and so sudden that it may also ruin all of a sudden. I dunno.But there is something for sure. I'll enjoy the time we will be friends, at least, there will be a memory in me that we are friends, right?Well, at least.

Clueless Innocent

Right now, this is the perfect words I can imagine to fit to myself. Yeah, yeah yeah. Simple. Because I am clueless, and I am innocent. Can't believe it? Haha.Seriously speaking, thats what I'm thinking now. Because I have been treated like shit for these past few days.Okay, I am exaggerating only. My Aunt and her ever-faithful bitch friend Bessy. Hm-hmn. And I am so clueless why they are acting like "that" to me. So, I' am clueless. And I cannot think of any reason why. Thus, I am innocent.Anyway, I don't care that much. I kept on telling myself "Why would I be bothered?" If they don't plase them, then why would I please them too? Thats one of my rules.So? Babye! Haha. They may go and rot to some dingy place(which I am hoping) and I would not care a bit. C'est la vie! Au revoir.

Died and Lived...Again

Have you ever seen a rose bud so fresh and pink and began blossoming then died suddenly? And then, after weeks or so, the rose blossomed again. But whoa- wait! That stops there. You will not be able to know whethere the rose really continued to blossom or just died.I can relate it to me. To explain further, there is a guy across another sormitory named Jean. I think he is one of the most handsome in that dormitory because many girls has crush on him, including me but that admiration just vanished.But it went back again. After a while, I noticed him again. But i don't know this time, I mean, we can't know. its because its like he meant it as a really business. I mean, he started to become visible to my vision.For instance, he kept on looking at me whenever I am around. I just can feel it. Theres this time, I was reading my horoscope with my friends and I was reading it loudly. He just came to me and said, " CAn you read Leo for me?" Well, he might think I meant something when I told him, "You are a Leo? Well, I am too!" Which is very true.Another one. He asked for my number through ym friend. But of course, I don't own a cellular phone by now so bye-bye. Haha. Maybe its a lucky thing too because he has these traits I dissapproved.

Self-Control

What does I know about it? I mean, yes, I am a model student, and a really good one, too. But..I cannot control myself that much especially when we will be talking about something to eat, internet, magazines and books. Gosh- I have a little self-control for that.

Yes, I may look like a disciplined stuff, but I am not. Just this morning, I ate two burgers. Imagine that, two!! MY gosh..Now I know I am going to be fat someday.

But I have to have this self-control stuff. If only I can buy it somewhere but i know I cannot. I don't want to get fat. I also don't want to lose my money that instantly because of internet and magazines and books. I want to learn those self-control but I do not know where to start.

Yes, a person could be smart, intelligent and a good role model, but there are also imperfections that gives her perfection. Just like me, I lack that self-control.

Back From The Past

I thought all of it was past. Like those words, past is past. Simply like that. But its more than like it and I don't believe its happening again. I don't know what does this mean, but I am in a semi-confusion now.



I saw Archie just this minute! This very moment. Remember him? Okay, if you don't, let me refresh your memory. Archie is a long-time love of mine whom I was very smitten over that I cannot deny it. Well, I was young that time, so I am super naive. I have made many mistakes by it and he was just only playing with my feelings.



Hmn..I thought I have just forgotten all about it. Yah, I mean, I am not thinking about him anymore. In fact, I have started flirting with other guys, if you remember Geoff, Joseph and many more. Well, in fact, I have a new fling now too but that will be at least the next post.



Back to Archie. Just this afternoon, in our Mathematics class, my friend talked about him. Uhmn,...I am not that moved. Well, I was not totally affected by it. My friend just said that she saw Archie yesterday and that he changed a lot..some old stuff, you know. And I think that is normal.



But, as I saw him just now, thinking about it, I wana go over my bowl of emotions. Swear. I mean, I am acting so natural that when our eyes met, its as if I don't know him. He seemed surprised too and I acted very gracefully. but I cannot believe that it was him I am seeing. Its because I have not seen him for sometime that made my heart jump. I am very cheesy, I know, but thats how it was done.

Sigh.

See ya later.

Online

Eherm... Right this moment, this very moment, I am in the field of romance. Yeah, right. With Joseph. I was right there talking to him via YM. Hmn..Well. Its our exams tomorrow..but well, I have studied already so..kudo. Its okay to chat till evening, because I still got morning.

Hmn..We didn't talk about something in partcular. Only stuffs. Nonsense, you know. But it meant a lot. I mean, not that much but at least.

Well, we talked about something right now. Hmn..I semll something fishy. Seems like..He is jealous of Prince William? Because it is a knowledge that I have a crush on the said Prince. Uhmn..I think that also means that he is remembering what I am saying..what are my likes and dislikes..and anything. Lets find out.

Hmn..He seemed nonchalant as I was asking him about his plans. Maybe he is not that interested in me? But he seems green with envy with Prince William. But he also sent me Prince William's exclusive pics. Oh, whatever Joseph.

What?! He just kept on sending me pics about my crushes. Uh-oh. Well, we will just wait for a development.

Exam and Whatevers

If yesterday I was happy and too exuberant, this day, my day is bad. As in I am in a bad hair day. Uhmn...no, not my hair I think. I think its my luck, or whatever you call it. Uh-oh, just let me explain it and you be the judge.

First, my exam. My oncoming exam. I cannot concentrate and I do not know the reason behind it. I mean, its like yes, I am studying but I think it is not that hard enough to be planted in my mind. Whatever. My mind is not in a functioning mood to work or whatsoever. I have been sleeping all day and thats not what I have in my mind.

Second. Its my aunt and that loathesome cousin. Again, I don't know what they have on their mind to be mad/ angry on me again. Oh, as if I care. But I was just hurt when I saw them entertain their friends first and just treated me like a shit that they cannot see. but, well, they may go to hell and rot there and I would not care anymore because they are already blacklisted. I am just being honest with myself that I was hurt by that treatment but...duh... I have already forgotten about it.

Then, one of my Aunt, an Aunt who has her own family now but still close to us, came from another place and we ate. Hey- I was running out of money and its a very lucky chance that she gave me a hundred bucks so now I have money. So I do not care whther I am very that unlckjy this day.

People, People and People

I do not know why people like..keep coming on me this day. Yeah, swear I do not know myself. Its just that,there's Geoff, there's Joseph, there's my so-called friends and a teacher and oh-not only people- even luck keeps coming on me, and I am so grateful for it.

Okay. Where will we go first? Geoff? Well, okay. I don't know if he is just flirting with me again the next time around, I really do not know but I can tell that there is something wrong. I mean, uhmn..well, he acts like. Let me explain. Almost everyone knew about this Joseph-Happy tandem, and of course, Geoff won't certainly miss it, I know. Just a fes days ago, he keeps on acting like he really wanted badly to talk to me but I avoided him. But as I realized that if I have no feelings for him, then, theres no need avoiding him.

I talked with him by our second period this afternoon because we have no class. Its not a set conversation, just by chance. I was sitting on this chair and he approached me and we started to talk about stuffs. Then, he just suddenly asked me if which would I prefer more: Those intelligent or those average? Of course, my answer is either of the two. Then, he keeps on mourning about why he is a slow-learner in Math. And I just felt that he wants to say something, or insinuate, rather.

I know he wants to insinuate that I only like Joseph because he is good in Math and that he wants to ..oh, no need. I am confused but I know what is the meaning of it.

Okay. Lets go next to Joseph. Well, just as normal, he keeps on talking to me, and..I suspected something. I think he REALLY has a crush on me. Theres this one friend of his, a girl, who is the only one who knew his crush and then, that girl justy asked me a while ago if has he already courted me. Of course, the answer is no. Because it is the truth. Then, theres this dissappointment in her eyes when I answered no. Its as if she knew all along. Yeah, maybe. I dont know. Maybe just an illussion.

Then, this morning, our teacher asked us to check this list if we were going to attend the prom. I am not quite sure yet and the paper hasn't arrived on me yet. But when we were looking for the paper, it is already in Joseph's hands and he asked me if I am going. I thought he asked me that because he wanted to make sure I'll attend? Maybe. I don't know. But his gesture warms my heart.

Next, this so-called friends of mine who made me cry for days. Okay, I am not mad at them anymore. Actually, I still consider them as my friends. Yeah, no lying here. Then, they were trying to make us peace again, and I have already granted them that although they do not know. Then, the time I played badminton a while ago, Dude insisted on playing although she knew that I will be her opponent. Its as if she is trying to talk to me. But I just played and played and didn't try to talk to her. No way would I. Maybe she really wanted to talk to me.

But I didn't make an attempt. If they want to reconciliate with me, then they have to do the first move, and not me. But for me, we were already friends.

And luck just kept on coming to me. Our high school year book was aproved, I have this okay love life and almost everything that not a material thing can make you happy. So what will make me happy more? Nothing else but God's blessings!

Game Week

This week, it seems like every end of the period we have some game to put in our mind. Aside from the mental activities that we have every start of the day which is Physics, till the next last subject in the afternoon which is Mathematics. After that, our last period was now starting to become interesting which, by Monday we have a basketball, not the boring lectures. And by Wednesday, we played Volleyball. By Friday, although we have no class by that period but I played badminton.

By Monday, we played basketball and you just imagine how happy I am when I shoot one hoop. Oh...Really, like I was ignorant with it because it was my first time. Haha. Too funny yet it is true.

And then, by Wednesday, we played volleyball. Kudo here. I know a little about volleyball so I am quite confident playing it. I scored perfect ten for tossing and so as for the handling. Hahaha. See? I am not quite a loser in sports, although not a good one.

So by Friday, we were bored and even if our prof was not around, we played some games. And by that, I played badminton because thats the game I like much. I mean, its not much of a sweat you know. So there! I played and played till; I dropped dead.

So far, I have an enjoyable weekdays and no eruption of mood here. And hey- let me make an announcement. By Thursday, I got my card and I got straight A's. And by friday morning, honors were announced and guess what?! I am the secxond honor for our third semester. Its like my life is just so perfect but I know it is not. I mean, I have this budding love life, good grades, avergae money. I am satisfied and I thanked God for it. What other things would I look for, anyway?

SUPER irritated

I am so so so irritated. Because once again, the enemy has striked, and I also wanted to strike back because I am already full of those humbugs trying to ruin my mood.

Just this noon, my cousin Greta striked back. She, once again, could not resist herself on moving my dresses. She wore my dress! And without my permission. If I am allowed to kill just only one person, it would be her.

Would you like someone to abuse you? Abuse your patience, for having patience to control yourself to stab her back because she is always taking your things without her permission..? I cannot tolerate that!

I really really hate her now. She was the one seen as the angel and I am the devil but who is the more devil than the two of us?

So, she better take good care how to use my things without my knowing next time because she might find herself in the mirror a face without a hair! Not a single thread!

Welcome Home!

This pastfewdays, I am desperate to go back to our house, a home to me which others may not consider a home. I don't know why I am feeling like this way, like I really wanted to go home that desperately where I am alrteady immuned in not being at home. Besides, I never consider any place a home except the internet until now.

So, well, I went home this weekend. And by Sunday, I have to go back but I have this feeling that I do not want to go back, get that? I mean, I really don't know but suddenly I became tired in city life and life as a student. Like, as if I needed a very wide range of recuperation. I dunno...

Well, at least, I am in the city again now in our dorm and I have to face this challenges again. Hmn.. Well, as if I havea choice. Anyway, I was also a bit fimsy this week about our cards waiting to be claimed this Thursday and come to thinkof it, whenever I am beginning to even imagine what it will look like again, I become queesy. Because deep inside me,I know I am in dep waters.Its as if..I haven't done well this past few weeksand that I might get thrown out in my throne for Top 5. Yes, I am in top three lastgrading period but its okay for me if I occupy the Top five but please oh please, not the top six.

But I am having doubts about myself now. Its as if all those confidence in me have gone with the wind.I am doubting myself and I do not know why. As for now, my concern is that I am not doing well but I am going to recuperate, I hope and please pray for me too. Well, anyway, thank you for reading this, if you are.

WHEW!

I have not visted my blog for a long long time. Maybe I am exagerrating, but the truth is that, I visited this blog just a few days ago, but its like my heart's not in it. But now, my heart is REALLY into it. Because I have too many in my mind to say but have no guts to tell it to others..Or rather, no one will take it seriously.

Okay. First, let me tell you what we did for the day. It is such a very very exhausting day. Super. Because we have some physical activities in our P.E called the Amazing Race but its no amazing there. It is not for me, anyway. Because it is so tiring, so disgusting and so useless. You cannot even use a mental stuff. Gosh! Better do some mental stuff like solving mathematics problems and so on...

Speaking of Mathematics, well..uhmn..I have a conffession to make. I think this is the most revolting for me, but not for you. I've got a crush on those math geek of ours, Joseph! No no no no no. Precisely a no because he has this one time where he beat me in Mathematics but well, I only realized it for now..and..oh, whatever. Well, I just realized it when one day, I befriended him to calm the always-there tension between us. But NADA..IT ONLY MADE ME HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. And thats it. Gosh..how could I? Like, I haven't experienced the bitterness of love..Uh-oh.But still, this time, I am beginning to crave for his attention even if I have no rights. And there is also one girl in our school who is obssesed on him. Gosh.. But you know what? I believe he has a crush on me too. Because uhmn..well, its hard to explain but thats what I stand up for./..

Whew! I think I am falling gaain on somebody. And its okay with me, no regrets or remorse or doubts here..Just wanna go on with the flow. But there is one thing I put in my mind : I would only tell that the guy is "him" if ever he will be able to enable me to have an attraction to other guy. You know, obssession.

And I don' t think I have met him already but I am waiting..Just hope its later...

Luv Yah!

My aunt went to our house in province. No..not the Aunt that I blacklisted but my aunt who has got a husband now and was doing well in life. Well, shewent to our house in province so I went to tag along them. I am so excited to see our house again, which I left by 6th of January then. Of course, thereason I leftwas for school reasons. I justhave to live in a dormitory.

I was so excited. We just have to plan and celebrate my sisters birthdays but of course that is until next week. I want to please them. I wanted so much to make them happy, so thats it. Justthen, I recognized how much I love them. So much.

So Tired of Waiting

Waiting. For me, that is the hardest part in living. I don't like waiting. In fact, I hate waiting on something. Like in an exam, I do not like waiting for the teachers to come. I want to take an exam if I am already finished studying. But thats not how life seems to be.

Just by the nearing end of this week, I was trying to prepare a small gathering for my younger sisters' birthday. Naturally, I have to go home this weekend so that I we can celebrate. I have to ask a penny to my father because maman didn't gave me any. You know, crisis and the money she sent went short. But I understand it. Now, my father promised to send a penny or two to me, and I waited. And I have been waiting this whole day to, yesterday and the other day. Well, my patience really stuck me out and I think I really do not have any of it and I almost have an attack because that disgusting elfin friend of my Aunt lied to me that she didn't saw my Aunt's cellular but it turns out that she only hid it! So disgusting.

I really wanted to wring her neck but as promised, I behaved like an angel. So I just waited for my father's text patiently.

And then it came. So, I rushed to the mall, hoping to bag some groceries to find out that the department store is full! Gosh. If only you can see it. I am the 13th liner in one counter, imagine that! So i have to wait for maybe an hour or so after I have been able to go out to the mall.

See, I have no patiens, or do I have a little? I dunno..

Talent Show

What the heck are they thinking about? A talent show? They must be joking! I mean,I am not God's personal joke.

It is not so big deal anyway, if only it doesn't affect our grade and we just don't have to perform it in front of everybody in class. Well, not that..oh, whatever. I think I am out of reason now.

The point is, I believe that I do ot have any talent to boot. I mean, I sing, but I am only a shower singer. I dance, but not that hiphop and I do not dance that well, and I am just a secret, aspiring, future choreographer. Huhuhu. Besides, I do not also have that enough guts to present an oration r declamation in front of everybody because lately this days, I am begining to lack self-confidence.

Okay, okay okay. Not that I do not have any talent. Point is, yes, I have this talent but it isn't showy. I have a talent in the field of writing, I believe that. But how can I show that.

Besides, I am not that good enough to boot it. And I wanted to perform something unusual. Oh, whatever. Just say good luck to me. Huhuh.

Set, Go!

Do you believe in horoscopes? Dream meanings? Do we really HAVE to believe it? Well, just asking, because there have been many things happening to me because of tha stuff.

Well, just this Tuesday this week, I think, or ahuh! its Thursday, anyway. I have my horoscope read by my friend. Here it goes: "A new love will bloom. Watch out for you career because thi time, you will get what you wanted, if only you work hard." That is it. Well, I think it is right but jnt in the sense that a new love will bloom in me.

Thing is, Geoff's horoscope was read. It is really nothing for me, I promise, I do not have any feelings for him anymore, but they sill kept teasing me on him. This is his scope. "You will regret the time you waste you time for the person you love because you know that he/she was not telling you anything and you better ask him/ her yourself. Do it right now." Well, thats just it, but..they kept teasing me about it. As if I really care. Whatever I can just do nothing but roll my eyes.

I am currently preparing for my examination for tomorow so I better go because I haven't studied too good yet. Bye bye.

While I'm Away for The Christmas Season

I stayed on my mother's parents house where I practically live, I mean, my sisters and I. My first day of vacation had gone so well, thank you! I didn't have much that fight with my sisters and everything were still. Congratulate me because I have been able to control my temper that time and there isn't minor eruption happened at that time.

Second day...well, SOMEONE arrived that soured my mood. You know, the blacklisted Greta. Just because of her mere prescence! Hah! What is more to it, she woremy clothes without my permission! Grrr... Hate her for that. I really hate her. She i so ODIOUS for me now.

And then the worst day. Yet for me. Such a damnation, although I don't really wanna curse. But I did it again. I hate everyone! Shit on them. They were too dunce to understand me to get what I'm feeling and they were too thick to get the depths of what I am feeling. Hmn...I don't know, maybe I am just really crazy. Haha! I accept that. Well, for all I care. I know myself that much and I accept it because I know it is the strongest thing I will be having in my present and in my future. The thing is, they do no try to accept 'me' and they were being obnoxious towards me.

It only made me far from them. Its because no one really tried to understand me, and that time, I don't even understand them either. I know the problem is with me, but I cannot accept it totally because I am not only responsible for my actions myself, because I am dong everything for a cause, and a reasonable cause.

So, that time, I told myself-or my cousin Greta, rather- that one more attempt to touch my things by her and I will pluck all her hair- I do not care! As if like it even from the start.

After Christmas, we were supposed to go to my father's hometown. Well, my sisters and I went there all alone and I am so proud because we arrived there safely and to think that the last time I set foot there was 7 years ago!

Okay, so we went there and saw some of my cousins and I love them! But I didn't really, you know, let out of my wild side there.. Oh, whatever.

Thats it. But at Christmas, at least, I have apologised to my grandpapa, or I just thought so but I know that he had already forgiven me so theres no burden in me now. Babye.

Happy New Year

Uh-oh. I think I am stuck again with those keyboards so so hard to press. Well, beggars don't ave a choice. As a part of the new "me", I promised-shall we say, did the best- that I will not go on an internet shop as possible as I can because it is such an expensive luxury. But then, my mother called an told me to online ASAP.

Anyway, happy new year! Such a great season. And I have many things to tell you but let me say hat until next post, okay? Keep in touch. Once again,

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!